When he says or does something that offends or upsets you, tell everybody else, but make sure you don’t tell him until he has heard from the others you have told.  Then tell him that you agree with them.  Every once in a while, send him a complaining anonymous letter.

On June 10th  Kevin Smith was installed as the new Senior Pastor of New City Fellowship in Chattanooga. Founding Pastor and now Pastor Emeritus was asked to give the ‘Charge To The Congregation’. He has graciously provided his text to share with readers of the Aquila Report.

(Listed in David Letterman’s reverse order)

12.  Don’t be vulnerable to the Pastor’s preaching or think about what he has told you.  Don’t take notes, don’t meditate on it, and don’t discuss it with friends.  Try to maintain an aloof stance.   Don’t let him get to you.

11.  Don’t tell him when God has done a work of grace in your heart through his ministry.  Too much encouragement and he might try to do it again.

10.  When he asks for help or for volunteers to do a ministry or take a missions trip, don’t respond, don’t even pray about it, don’t even get close.  When he mentions the word “evangelism” develop theological problems with the very idea.

9.  When he calls for a prayer meeting put that as the lowest of your priorities .  Don’t bother coming.

8.  When he says or does something that offends or upsets you tell everybody else, but make sure you don’t tell him until he has heard from the others you have told, then tell him that you agree with them.  Every once in a while, send him a complaining anonymous letter.

7.  When you hear other people complaining about the Pastor of the church, don’t rebuke them and don’t worry about repeating the slander to anyone else.  It must be true or they wouldn’t be talking.

6.  When you see the Pastor is tired and becoming overwhelmed don’t mention “days off, vacation, rest, or sabbatical” – he might be unspiritual enough to take you up on it.

5.  When you think about leaving the church, just leave.  Don’t consider a conversation with the Pastor as he might change your mind.  Don’t worry about the amputation of your friendship with him, no matter how many years he has been your pastor (he is a professional and will get over it.)  After you’ve left the church don’t hesitate to complain about how no one sought you out.

4.  When he lets you know the church is having financial difficulty whether by letter, announcement, or personally don’t pay any attention to it.  Don’t consider your faithfulness (it will only make you feel bad) and stay away from your checkbook.  Keep your pastor poor and nervous, it will help his prayer life.

3.  When you judge his wife and children, their participation and behavior, their car, clothes, hairstyle, furniture, and dog; don’t worry about their feelings just tell them your displeasure and tell other people about it too.

2.  Don’t take the vow to obey him seriously, or bother to show him respect either publicly or privately.  It will just give him a big head and make him proud.  Keep your Pastor humble.

1.  Don’t pray for him consistently, in fact don’t pray for him at all.  You will need all your time to pray for yourself.