While our world sees gossip as something akin to a naughty pleasure, the Scriptures warn us that it is truly wicked. Indeed, the apostle Paul repeatedly warns us that those who give themselves to it are under the judgment of God.

I was recently given Matthew’s C. Mitchell’s short book Resisting Gossip by a woman in my church who told me how helpful she had found it. While gossip is a serious sin, it’s one which is rarely addressed, particularly in book length form. Resisting Gossip manages to fill the gap well.

The book itself is divided into four main parts: 1) Recognizing gossip 2) Resisting gossip 3) Responding to gossip and 4) Regretting gossip. There is also an important ‘bonus chapter’ at the end titled, “For Church Leaders” which wisely seeks to apply the principles outlined in the book to the local church.

Gossip and the Gospel

Mitchell’s writing style is engaging and easy to follow. There are plenty of personal anecdotes and extensive quotes from Scripture. One thing I especially appreciated though was how it never dissolved into moralism but was consistently grounded in the gospel.

Not only does this free us from the guilt of having gossiped ourselves but it also gives us the power to forgive those who have gossiped against us. In short, Mitchell rightly argues that we are to “become who we are” in Christ (Eph. 4:22-24).

Resisting Gossip also goes deeper in regard to what is motivating us to gossip in the first place. For example, this could be because we want a sense of power over someone else or because we ourselves are insecure.

Another great aspect to the book was how to resist gossip by replacing sinful speech with godly words. The inspired words of the apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians is apposite:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:29-32).

This is a great passage to keep in mind whenever we open our mouths because it challenges us to be intentional with our speech. To deliberately choose words which will build people up rather than tear them down.

I’ve found that us Aussies have turned insults into an artform, such that if someone becomes upset by what we’ve said then we rebuff them for being too serious. We should routinely stop and consider though the wise words of Solomon:

Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbour and says, ‘I was only joking!’ (Prov. 26:18-19)

As the apostle Paul writes to the Ephesians, when we engage in gossip we are grieving God the Holy Spirit because we are failing to act in holiness and most of all love. It’s impossible to gossip when we are trying to build somebody up. As Mitchell observes: “…gossip hurts at least three people: the one being spoken about, the one hearing the gossip, and the one speaking it.”

How to Respond when Gossiped Against

One of the difficult things in pastoral ministry is having one’s reputation maligned by gossip. Mitchell shares that he himself came close to quitting the pastorate because of it. How easy it is to become despondent or bitter due to the unloving and even malicious words of those in one’s own congregation!

Chapter 7 is especially helpful in what it means to respond in faith when one is the victim of gossip. Mitchell also rightly reminds the reader that there is a practical way forward which we must pursue. This is comprised of four key actions:

First, we should pray. Pray for ourselves to discern if there is any truth in what is being said and that we should repent of. Perhaps this might even be the Lord’s rebuke to us for sins which we may have been guilty of committing ourselves?

But we should also especially pray for those who are speaking against us. As the Lord Jesus commands us as His disciples: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44)

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