Living with Christ-esteem takes time to master. Negative habits, toxic playlists, and even over­confidence can hijack us for months or even years. Healing is not overnight. It takes conscious, gospel-centered action to step out in faith. My reflex is still sometimes to slip into negative thinking, but we err with grace, and then we get back up and lead with faith.

There’s a temperamental teeter totter between the pastor’s ears. On one side is the desire to give all glory to Christ, and on the other is the weight of self-importance. This back-and-forth tension is stronger than we acknowledge.

Sometimes, while squirreled away in our offices right before the early service, we think, “Who am I to preach God’s Word to all these people? ” For others, the pendulum of esteem can quickly edge toward over-confidence: “Why wouldn’t they want to hear God speak through me?” The back and forth can be nauseating and frustrating for the tenderhearted pastor.

For nearly two decades now, I’ve walked with fellow pastors through the feelings of not being ‘good enough’ and the inverse sense of arrogance. Low self-esteem is my burden at times, too, and it’s led to complex, necessary conversations washed in the grace of our Savior.

How do we, as pastors, handle this idea of self-esteem? What is self-esteem? Is it sinful for a pastor to have high self-esteem? Most importantly, how do we see ourselves in the context of Christ’s redemptive work and our sacred calling as shepherds of God’s flock?

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is dynamically connected to our perceived worth as followers of Christ, leaders, and pastors. We all have an innate sense of value and calling. Knowing God has accepted us gives us the strength we need to resist Satan’s attacks and engage our critics. How we feel and what we believe to be true about ourselves is often a fractured lens in light of God’s grace. The Apostle Paul cautions us in his words to the Roman believers that we are to “think soberly” when considering our worthiness (Rom 12:3).

Can we dismiss the term “self-esteem” altogether as outside the goal of the gospel? When we focus on ourselves, we take our eyes off our Savior. We start building our identity on our perspective, not on our Solid Rock. When we allow others to assess and convince us of a different value or significance compared to God’s view, we rely on their opinion. What drives us to make such a change?

Pastors are in danger of unhealthy self-esteem, whether low or overly high, when we place undue value on the feedback of others. Did I do well with today’s sermon? Why do the elders want to meet on Monday night? Do you think people forgot last week’s trainwreck-of-a-message? What did so-and-so mean when they made that comment?

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