When December rolls around, and we want to build family memories, we sometimes have fewer time windows leading up to Christmas for non-church activities. While we still want to make time for things that are just “us,” we must prioritize them. At the same time, instead of feeling frustrated that we can’t do more on our own time, we try to enjoy how and when church life overlaps with family life and becomes part of our traditions. It helps that at home and in church, we value the same things, including mission, wonder, and generosity.

I’ve always loved the Christmas season. As a girl, I looked forward each December to hearing bedtime stories about past Christmases, baking cookies, gathering as a family around the Advent candles on Sunday nights, and going to my grandparents’ house on Christmas Eve. These family traditions birthed some of my favorite childhood memories—memories rich with good smells and warm feelings.

More than that, they helped build a sense of family identity and togetherness. Repeating them each year, my parents communicated to my siblings and me:

We are family. This is what we do. 

Traditions give children a sense of security and safety, and as a parent, I want them for my own family. As a pastor’s wife, I can feel torn when choosing between family activities and the church calendar. There’s only so much time. I’m learning to embrace that church life shapes many of our family rhythms, including those surrounding Christmas.

Church Life Shapes a Pastor’s Family Rhythms

Whether we’re talking about a week or a month at a time, church life shapes the rhythms of a pastor’s family. Sundays are corporate worship. Small groups, discipleship, counseling, and other meetings happen on other days. Community outreach has its place on the calendar. Then, there are special events and service projects.

I assume my husband Scott is involved with pretty much every key church event. At times, I’ve resented our full calendar. Personally, I prefer some wiggle room both for rest and spontaneity. Over time, though, the Lord has helped me see my husband’s role and responsibilities as one big “get-to” for our family.

Our whole family gets to be part of what God’s doing in and through our church. Even if Scott weren’t on staff, we’d want to be active in church life, growing personally and serving others (Hebrews 10:24-25). Because he is, we have even more opportunities to do these things. That’s why when Scott and I sit down to plan, we add church things first. Then, we block off date nights, family nights, and our children’s activities.

So when December rolls around, and we want to build family memories, we sometimes have fewer time windows leading up to Christmas for non-church activities. While we still want to make time for things that are just “us,” we must prioritize them.

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