Can God give extraordinary grace so that a person can survive without a church? For instance, in prison for the gospel’s sake? Yes. Can God provide extraordinary grace so that a person can thrive without a spouse? Certainly. The very word “extraordinary” reminds us that this is not God’s ordinary way of working. God has designed marriage as a primary means of blessing and sanctifying his people, ordinarily.

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18).

After hearing the constant refrain “it was good” throughout the Creation narrative, we are jolted by this declaration. In the midst of all the “good” that God is creating, there is something not yet good enough! “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18).

This single passage of Scripture contains invaluable, though sadly controversial, lessons for us still today.

First, marriage is God’s idea.

Here we must tread carefully and yet boldly. God’s normal prescription for humans is that they not be alone, that they be married.

Yes, we must be careful in saying this, because Jesus and Paul both were single men. And Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians that some are given the gift of singleness by which they can serve the Lord, in some ways, with greater focus and flexibility than if they were married.

There is also the fact that we are all single for a period of time when we are young, and then perhaps single again when we are old. Yet even the extraordinary grace that God provides to widows and widowers in their loneliness is a pointer to the fact that humans are generally not meant to spend life alone.

So if you are single and longing for a spouse, I my intention is not to rub salt in that wound. God is good, faithful, and  His plan and timing for each of us is different. If you, however, are single because you are too busy chasing after knowledge, after material security, after personal pleasure—then you are too busy. You are, ironically, trying to obtain what Adam already had in complete fullness in Eden! Adam had everything the single mind and body could enjoy; yet God looks over his situation and says, “It is not good for him to be alone.”

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