We cannot completely control whether others trust us. But we can do everything within our power not to give people reasons to distrust us. We can aim to speak sincerely, mindful of God, in the way that Paul describes his ministry: “as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:17).

Persuasion is a controversial topic in today’s world. Some worry that it can easily slide into manipulation. Others are against imposing our ideas on others in a domineering way. These concerns are valid.

Many of us also have personal hesitations about persuasiveness because of our background or personality. Perhaps we don’t want to appear argumentative, so we feel hesitant about really pressing a point. In the midst of a disagreement, we may feel an internal pressure to yield too quickly.

We can stack up many valid concerns about persuasion done badly. But we should not devalue persuasiveness itself. We can easily imagine scenarios where persuasion is absolutely critical: helping a friend who is considering suicide or attempting to encourage someone away from a hateful ideology. No one would say that persuasion is bad in those cases. The truth is that done rightly, persuasion is an act of love.

If we care about people, we should want to encourage them toward truth and wisdom. Even when no one changes their mind, attempts at persuasion help us understand one another better. Think of it like this: God has given you unique insights and experiences, and if you don’t share them, you may be depriving others around you of what God wants to teach them through you.

Valuing persuasion is biblical. Proverbs portrays persuasive speech as part of wisdom: “The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips” (Proverbs 16:23). The apostle Paul provides a good model of persuasive speech when he is on trial at the end of the book of Acts. His speeches to various civil authorities are filled with diplomacy, tact, firmness, and force:

Knowing that for many years you have been a judge over this nation, I cheerfully make my defense. (Acts 24:10, to Governor Felix)

I consider myself fortunate that it is before you, King Agrippa, I am going to make my defense today against all the accusations of the Jews, especially because you are familiar with all the customs and controversies of the Jews. Therefore I beg you to listen to me patiently. (26:2-3, to King Agrippa)

But Paul said, “I am not out of my mind, most excellent Festus, but I am speaking true and rational words.” (v. 25, when interrupted by Festus)

It’s hard to dismiss someone who speaks cheerfully, respectfully, and reasonably, as Paul does here. This is a good way to think about what happens when you are persuasive; it makes it harder for people to dismiss you.

Persuasion Is Difficult

But persuasiveness is also difficult. It has never been harder to persuade people! I read an article recently in The New Yorker called, “Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds.” It references studies conducted at Stanford University in the 1970s, documenting how hard it is for people to change their minds once they have formed an opinion. The point was to show that even when their beliefs are refuted by facts and evidence, people often refuse to revise them. The article commented:

“Coming from a group of academics in the nineteen-seventies, the contention that people can’t think straight was shocking. It isn’t any longer. Thousands of subsequent experiments have confirmed (and elaborated on) this finding…Any graduate student with a clipboard can demonstrate that reasonable-seeming people are often totally irrational.”

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