No, I was not envious or jealous of Queen Esther and King Solomon. Scripture teaches us that what they had God gave them. I was ashamed when I realized that my sins of envy and jealousy showed that I wasn’t content with all the Lord had given me.  It was time for me to count those blessings and be thankful for them.

We bought a new house, to us, but twenty-seven years old in real time. Things needed fixing inside and out. My husband Joe and I pitched in and moved furniture, took down old wallpaper, caulked, painted, hung pictures, planted plants, flowers and pulled weeds.  We even painted the garage walls. After seven months we felt like the old house was looking newer. However, there was more cleaning to do. Cleaning that I had ignored and put on my “Someday” list. Cleaning that was up high and out of sight.

The Laundry Room

“Someday” came. One evening Joe and our grandson Paul, went to Paul’s basketball practice leaving me “home alone.”  Hmmm, I thought, now is a good time to tackle some of the places in our house that haven’t been cleaned. The up high hidden places like the laundry room. The room has wall to wall cabinets over the washer and dryer. However, the cabinets did not go to the ceiling. There was a space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling.

I got a ladder out of the garage and climbed up to see what might be hanging out on top of the cabinets. Oh boy, was my reaction.  There, at the top, was an inch deep carpet of lint from, no doubt, the dryer. I grabbed my trusty dust mask, put it on, and began the removal of the twenty-seven year old gray fluff. It wasn’t too long before the top of the cabinets looked brand new. It’s a nice feeling to have dirty become clean.

The Ceiling Fans

A few days later it became time to tackle another “hidden dirt” job….the ceiling fans. The underneath blades looked okay. It was what’s on the hidden top of the blades that I suspected needed cleaning. It was ladder and cleaning rag time again.  The first fan in the dining room was not too dirty. A few swipes of the wet rag got the hidden upper fan blade looking new. Full of confidence that this fan cleaning job will continue to be a “piece of cake,” I headed for the kitchen fan. Moving the ladder and approaching the easy job with my wet rag I climbed up and took a swipe of the top of the first blade. The swipe didn’t swipe….the rag just stuck to the fan blade. This was not going to be easy. The previous owner must have been a good cook. The inch deep grease on the top blades was a challenge to a total cleaning freak like me. I tried every strong cleaning spray…but nothing removed the thick grease. The cleaner in me got a brilliant idea and got out my fine steel abrasive soap pad! Yes, it worked! It took off all the old nasty grease! I breathed a sigh of relief.  It IS a nice feeling to have dirty become clean.

The Hidden Sins of the Heart

While standing on the ladder cleaning the easy bedroom fan the Holy Spirit hit me with another area of hidden dirt. Yes, our old house had hidden dirt but so did I.  Grungy stuff in the form of hidden sins. Sins that had been in my life for too long.  Sins that have become a habit. Sins that needed to be made clean. Sins of envy. Sins of jealousy. Sins that are against a righteous God and His holy Word.

Against You, You only, have I sinned (Psalm 51:4).

The Holy Spirit proceeded to open my eyes to my sins of envy and jealousy. Envy that I’m not like the graceful hostess of our Home Bible Study. Envy of the huge beautiful homes that some of our church members have. Jealous of the thick hair of the woman that sits in front of us at church.  Jealous of the confidence the woman’s leader has in speaking to a room full of ladies. The quiet inner voice of the Holy Spirit said, “Who makes you to differ? Who bestows each gift given to a believer?”

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).

I thought….was I envious when I read the Bible about Queen Esther and all her beauty and grace and probably a head of thick hair?  Was I jealous of King Solomon and all of his God given worldly goods and his magnificent palace?  No, I was not envious or jealous of Queen Esther and King Solomon. Scripture teaches us that what they had God gave them. I was ashamed when I realized that my sins of envy and jealousy showed that I wasn’t content with all the Lord had given me.  It was time for me to count those blessings and be thankful for them.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be contend with such things as you have (Hebrews 13:5).

I’m reminded of the gifts of the Holy Spirit when I rethink my envy and jealousy.  He gave the Woman’s Bible Study speaker the gift of teaching. He gave the families of the huge beautiful homes the resources to buy those homes. He numbered the very hairs on the head of the woman who sat in front of me in church. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.” I thanked God for all He has given me and asked for forgiveness for my unclean sins of jealousy and envy. Yes, it was a wonderful feeling to have dirt become clean, especially the hidden sins in my heart.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin (Psalm 51:2).

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me (Psalms 51:10).

Miriam Gautier is a member of Treasure Coast Presbyterian Church in America in Stuart, Fla.