Whether we are talking about same-sex attraction, singles longing for companionship, or disillusioned spouses who thought marriage would fulfill their need for intimacy, the church’s challenge is the demythologizing of sex in a culture that  sells it as the answer to all our loneliness, hurt, and loss. We are all making a grave mistake if we are seeking fulfillment in a sexual relationship, even if it is within marriage.

 
Kevin DeYoung points something out in his latest book that I would love to read more about. The second half of What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexualityis filled with short chapters answering popular and thoughtful objections to the biblical position of marriage, and therefore sexual relationships, being shared between one man and one women.

One of the more adamant objections is that it just isn’t fair. How can we ask same-sex attracted people to accept the fact that they will never be satisfied, that they cannot seek love in marriage according to a desire that they didn’t ask for in the first place? DeYoung approaches this question with much sensitivity, and tackles it from different angles. The blaring obvious response is, what about the heterosexual singles who do not find a spouse to marry?

He challenges the church that this isn’t a burden that someone should carry alone. While all of Christ’s people have their crosses to bear, we have the whole covenant community of the church to help us hold fast to the confession of our hope. And so DeYoung reminds us that “those Christians in our midst who experience same-sex attraction need not be friendless, helpless, and hopeless.”

Here DeYoung reveals a proclivity in the church that may need some admonition. We rightly want to support and encourage godly family units. But we can easily elevate the family into a priority which it has not been given. He continues:

But, of course, none of this can be possible without uprooting the idolatry of the nuclear family, which holds sway in many conservative churches. The trajectory of the New Testament is to relativize the importance of marriage and biological kinship. A spouse and a minivan full of kids on the way to Disney World is a sweet gift and a terrible god. If everything in Christian community revolves around being married with children, we should not be surprised when singleness sounds like a death sentence.

Read More