If you ignore the Mormon foundation, how different is Andelin’s teaching from the Christian women’s books that followed? How many of those demand complete obedience from wives regardless of whether their husbands are leading the family into ruin? How many forbid women from correcting their spouses or even offering a different opinion? How many teach that their job is to silently submit and let God do the adjusting? All the while demands are put on the subordinate party in this power differential for the ultimate well-being of the marriage. 

 the two most important qualities [of the Ideal woman] were obedience and femininity… She wrote, “The first law of Heaven is obedience, and it should be the first law of every home.” As a practical reminder of women’s obedience to men, Andelin presented each her of students with a gold-painted dowel to represent her husband’s authority. Then she assigned students to give the gold stick to their husbands in order to provide the couple with the opportunity to discuss their respective roles in a humorous manner. “The husbands like it, and often hang their sticks on the wall as a reminder and threaten to use it if the wife doesn’t obey,” she said. [1]

Helen Andelin’s book Fascinating Womanhood (1963) was probably the mother of all conservative women’s books to combat the 2nd wave of feminism. The above quote regarding her view on male authority isn’t an anomaly but the norm. The man “was created in the image of God and given dominion over the earth” which included control over his family. [2] He was not to be questioned even if his decisions would lead them into ruin. [3] He was free from any accountability by virtue of his role as husband and had the right to expect total obedience. She may have thought it was “humorous” to jest about wife-beating for disobedience, but I find it sickening.

What was the wife’s part then? Sole responsibility for the well-being of the marriage. Andelin believed that God did not judge a woman based on her relationship with Him but on her relationship with her husband. Failing to be a “good” wife was the ultimate failure. [4]

 The institution of marriage, she reasoned, was not to blame for the unhappiness of women. Nor were men to blame. A woman’s unhappiness was her own fault. The failure of good women to have happy marriages was the result of error, the scarcity of proper information, and human weakness. A woman, believed Andelin, could find happiness and have the heavenly marriage she desired even without deliberate action on the part of her husband.” [5]

This may sound like marriage advice gone over the top, but there was religious significance to Andelin’s teachings. She was a Mormon, and the concept of Celestial Marriage was essential for exaltation – achieving the status of a “god.” She dreamt that an angel took her to the “Celestial Kingdom” where she met family who had gone before. It was a wonderful place, but she could not stay. She was told return to earth to improve herself by having a “good testimony.” What was that testimony? Having a “Celestial marriage” on earth and teaching others how to do the same. [6]

While no Mormon can reach godhood without marriage, women are dependent on their husbands to “pull them to the other side.” Thus they are married on earth to gods-in-training with the hope of being celestial consorts and bearing spirit children after death. [7] For Andelin, her eternity was at stake, and promoting Fascinating Womanhood was a divine mission. If you believe you are married to a god-to-be whose favor you must earn to get into heaven, it’s no wonder why he would get the kid-glove treatment. It makes perfect sense that a woman’s success or failure as a human being is tied to earthly marriage because eternal marriage hangs in the balance. “If you treat him like a king, he’ll treat you like a queen.” [8] Could you substitute “god” and “goddess” instead? Even though Andelin freely plagiarized from a series of women’s booklets from the 1920’s, she believed “God” led her to them. So the pursuit of a good testimony justified the means. [9]

If you ignore the Mormon foundation, how different is Andelin’s teaching from the Christian women’s books that followed? How many of those demand complete obedience from wives regardless of whether their husbands are leading the family into ruin? How many forbid women from correcting their spouses or even offering a different opinion? How many teach that their job is to silently submit and let God do the adjusting? All the while demands are put on the subordinate party in this power differential for the ultimate well-being of the marriage. But if you look at the Bible, who has ever been given a pass on accountability based on chromosomes? Since when did a role place a person on a higher plane than his peers such that only God is able to correct and no one else? I can’t think of anyone. Nathan called David out for his sin. Paul confronted Peter to his face. James condemned the sin of partiality. What about the “one-anothers” in the New Testament that call for mutual encouragement and admonishment?

But this has also created a perfect environment for abuse to fester – absolute obedience from one party while the other is under no accountability. So a woman’s only recourse is to try more. Pray harder. Submit more. Don’t nag. Cajole him and appeal to his better nature. [9] Sound familiar? Given Andelin’s influence in shaping the ideal conservative American woman, is it any wonder that abuse has slid under the radar? Tragically, these ideas still lives on today. All you need to do is read the counsel victims often receive within professing Christian circles. Two of the most egregious examples come from Paige Patterson, president of Southwestern Baptist Seminary, and James Dobson.

If I had the time and the resources, I would survey the body of Christian women’s books that followed in the wake of Fascinating Womanhood. I would analyze their content with respect to male veneration and lack accountability, the burden of female responsibility, co-opting Victorian gender stereotypes as biblical, and the degree with which marriage is idolized elevated. My hunch is that I would find ideas that can be traced back to Helen Andelin’s influence. If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it, you have my blessing, and I will gladly buy your book. But if this is indeed the case, then we need to take a hard look at what is being taught in the name of Christian marriage and womanhood. How much is truly biblical, and how much is Mormon?

1. Helen Andelin and the Fascinating Womanhood Movement, Julie Neuffer, University of Utah Press, 2014, pg. 32.
2. Ibid. 50.
3. Ibid. 52.
4. Ibid. 54.
5. Ibid. 24.
6. Ibid. 47.
7. The Role of Women in Mormonism
8. Fascinating Womanhood, Helen Andelin, Bantam Books, 1992, pg. 99.
9. Neuffer, 40-44.
10. “When a man does or says something sinful, here is the way to handle it: At first, show reluctance to believe it. Say you thought it impossible for a man such as he to do such a thing. If you are compelled to believe it, indicate that you know it is contrary to his true nature and was only the result of carelessness and thoughtlessness. You must be immediately disappointed in his temporary lapse but your faith in his better side must be unshaken.” Andelin, pgs. 51-52.

Persis Lorenti is an ordinary Christian. You can find her at Tried With Fire and Out of the Ordinary. This article appeared on her blog and is used with permission.