Most Christians would readily agree with Peter that in the Scriptures, “There are some things in them that are hard to understand” (2 Peter 3:16). On the other hand, we find plenty of passages that are plain and clear, such as Paul’s words to the Thessalonians: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18). It’s straightforward, simple enough to put on a coffee mug, and doesn’t leave many readers scratching their heads—at least, not at first glance.

Then life takes a turn, and we find ourselves facing a circumstance in which being thankful feels utterly impossible, perhaps even wrong. But the command doesn’t go away, nor does it seem to offer any exceptions. We are baffled and frustrated, like the six-year-old boy whose well-meaning aunt gives him a pair of socks for his birthday. His mother says, “You need to go say thank you,” and the boy begrudgingly obeys. The Webster’s 1828 Dictionary definition of thanks explains this tension: “Expression of gratitude; an acknowledgment made to express a sense of favor or kindness received.” Had he unwrapped the basketball he was hoping to receive, a happy “thank you” would have likely been on his lips before his mother even had to instruct it. But alas, the socks do not feel like a “kindness received”—wouldn’t it have been more “kind” of her to find out what he actually wanted?

Birthday gifts for six-year-olds aside, we can certainly experience similar thoughts and emotions toward God when it comes to giving thanks amid suffering. We know we are supposed to, but the words “thank you” seem far from how we really feel about life. How can a terminal diagnosis, a third miscarriage, or a shocking betrayal be perceived with a “sense of favor” received? It almost appears as though God expects us to declare something bad as good, especially when we consider Ephesians 5:20, in which Paul tells us not only to give thanks “always” but also “for everything.”

However, it’s clear that God is not calling us to declare something bad as good, especially when we read God’s promises about the new creation He will establish after Christ’s return.