So much of so many societies today is set against the marriage relationship as ordained by the Lord. But by faith in God the Creator and Christ the Redeemer, the joys and blessings of marriage can be experienced even in a world that has gotten too modern for its own good.

For some cultures today, marriage is a thing of past generations. Parents and grandparents may have married. But people today don’t bother with marriage. Current customs and tax-breaks don’t require it, so why bother? For other cultures, marriage is almost a necessity of life, particularly for women. Survival itself virtually hinges on being married. In any case, many questions are being asked about marriage in the modern world. So consider a few questions about marriage, and insights into the truth offered by the Christian scriptures. First…

What is Marriage?

If a person is considering marriage, he needs to have some idea of what he is getting into. So what is marriage?

Some people would regard marriage as a contract of personal convenience. If it suits the taste or advances the aspirations of two people, then let them marry. But if this view of marriage is taken, the outcome will be either disappointment or disaster. As soon as the marriage becomes a hindrance to either partner, then enough reason exists to terminate the sacred bond. In some cultures, if a wife cooks a bad meal, the husband can say, “I divorce you!”, and it’s all over. In other cultures, if a woman meets a more attentive man, she can all too easily end her marriage relationship.

But people are always deeply hurt when a relationship breaks up, even if it is a “marriage of convenience.” Something about the union of two human beings creates inter-connections of bodies, souls and societies that are not easily dissolved. Children born in a marriage naturally identify with a “father” and “mother,” and no one else can take their places.

There is another answer to the question, “What is a marriage?” A marriage is a mysterious, God-ordained binding of two people so that they should never be pulled apart “so long as they both shall live.” Something about the physical union, the social commitments, the bonding of two spirits defies an easy separation. It is a wonder, a mystery, a beauty that only the Creator-God could have designed, and no one should pull apart what God has joined together (Matt. 19:6).

But what if your marriage breaks up? If you have guilt in the matter, confess it to God with a truly repentant spirit. Plead forgiveness on the basis of the sacrificial death of God’s Son for sinners. Then trust him for daily grace and make amends as you can. If you are the innocent party, look to God as a heavenly Father who will provide comfort and care for all who are his children. “God never yet forsook in need the soul that trusted him indeed.” So the second question naturally arises…

Why Should I Marry?

If you can never get out of a marriage relationship, who wants to run the risk of entering it? Wouldn’t it be much safer to remain unmarried, uncommitted, free from the unbreakable bonding of marriage? Why not just enjoy relationships that you assume will come to their natural end some day, but keep yourself aloof from any long-term intentions? Then perhaps the separation will not hurt so much when it eventually comes.

The reasoning of non-faith will follow exactly that line. Even Jesus’ own disciples expressed serious reservations about marriage (Matt. 19:10). If you have no faith in the good news about the ability of Jesus Christ to redeem, reconcile and re-form self-centered sinners like yourself and your potential partner, then you might well conclude that you should never marry. The risk is too great. The alternative of personal freedom is too attractive.

But don’t be fooled into thinking that anything can substitute for the lifetime commitments of marriage. Don’t give yourself over to the intimacies of a sexual relationship apart from the commitments necessary to a proper bonding of body and soul. The fashion of the day is for people to think they have the right to “live together” and then leave one another as they will, apart from any long-term obligations. But the union of two people is sacred in the eyes of God and requires permanency of commitment. Despite the scorn of a post-modern era, the sovereign Creator-God still regards people who explore the intimacies of sexual relationships apart from the commitments of marriage as living in fornication. For this violation of God’s law, individuals and societies must repent.

A more positive answer to the question, ‘Why should I marry?’ deserves your consideration. This other answer goes down to the very root of human existence. God intentionally made man so that it would not be good for him to be alone (Gen. 2:18).

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