Because reality sets in. The honeymoon is that period where each of two parties sees the other through idyllic lenses. But the pastor and the congregation will soon discover that neither is perfect. Indeed, each party may be even more critical of the other because the idyllic period seemed so bliss. The new era becomes a stark contrast.

Enjoy the honeymoon while it lasts.

It will end for most of you.

I love hearing from pastors and other church staff about their honeymoons and the reasons they ended. Here are the top seven reasons I compiled from those conversations.

1. Because reality sets in. The honeymoon is that period where each of two parties sees the other through idyllic lenses. But the pastor and the congregation will soon discover that neither is perfect. Indeed, each party may be even more critical of the other because the idyllic period seemed so bliss. The new era becomes a stark contrast.
2. Because the pastor leads change. The search committee and the congregation as a whole assured the pastor they were ready to make changes. What they did not fully communicate was that change was okay as long as it did not affect them personally.
3. Because the pastor search committee set unrealistic expectations. The search committee or similar calling group may have said things about the church and her future that just was not true. They may have been delusional more than deceptive, but the impact is the same. The pastor is disillusioned with the church he came to serve.
4. Because the pastor set unrealistic expectations. It works both ways. The pastor could have set some expectations about his leadership that just did not come to fruition. In secular terms, he oversold himself.

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