As we listen and converse with others, we must consider Christ’s ministry and example of humility. He counted others more significant than Himself. Christ’s meek and lowly methodology exudes graces confronts people with an image of themselves. A conversation that is mutually characterized by insults does not give occasion to self-critical reflection. Someone who is belligerent toward a humble listener is confronted by his own conduct. The Biblical method is not merely the humble approach, it is the effective approach.
In an age of interconnectivity, communication has never been easier. With the ability to interact and engage with fellow human beings at the touch of button, conversation has never felt so accessible. With such technological privilege, one would think that hyperconnectivity with our fellow man would naturally result in civil discourse, hearty debate, and charitable disagreement. Yet one has only to peruse their social media stream to realize that something has gone awry. It seems instinctual that instant communication would result in thoughtful and fruitful discussion, and yet what we are seeing in the public (virtual) square today is largely churlish bickering from sanctimonious buffoons behind keyboards, particularly in matters of political and social viewpoints. A sense of anonymity, a lack of personal ethos, and a feeling of being able to speak without repercussion are all factors that have created an inhospitable environment for loving our neighbor well as we converse online. In spite of the current unfavorable climate of online interaction, the Bible offers an ethic of discourse that posits listening well as the starting place for charitable and fruitful engagement. Below are seven Biblical principles that if heeded, would result in more building up and less tearing down (1 Thess. 5:11; Rom. 14:19; Eph. 4:29).
1. Listen First, Speak Second
The pithy saying of “might makes right” has become a standard strategy in civil discourse. Whether in online political threads or Presidential debates, the tactic of the day seems to be that whoever can shout their opinion the loudest holds the most correct position. Yet Scripture would have us undertake a very different kind of tactic. The God-honoring way to converse with someone you disagree with is to listen first and then speak.
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
As Christians, we must be quick to hear and slow to speak (Jm. 1:19-20). This looks like actively listening to those we disagree with while they are speaking instead of drowning out their voice in our minds because we are fixated on crafting our immediate rebuttal. Furthermore, not only does the Bible call us to listen before speaking, but to withhold judgement because we often do not have the entire scope of a given circumstance.
The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.
Rather than brashly taking to Facebook or Twitter to make vindictive judgements and commentate on current events as though we possess the omniscient perspective on the matter, we must be patient and listen well. Listening well, in the case of Proverbs 18:17, means going beyond mere confirmation of our prior commitments, and not simply accepting the first perspective we hear as true. A multiplicity of perspectives may, over time, provide greater clarity down the road. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and listen discerningly, for God is in heaven and we are on earth (Eccles. 5:2).
2. Heed the Counsel of the Wise
The gift of Christian community cannot be underestimated. God has placed shepherds within His church to care and direct the flock. God has also placed wise men and women in the church whose wisdom is made physically manifest by their crown of gray hair (Prov. 16:31).
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
The task of the Christian is to consider and heed the counsel of those have been running the race with endurance and fighting the good fight for a longer period of time than they have.
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