It also exhibits Greg’s confusion. He claims, several times in the book, that his identity is in Christ, yet he keeps coming back to finding his identity in cultural labels. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the word “gay” appears 160 times in Greg’s book. The word “Christian” appears half that many times (the benefit of reading a book on Kindle is I can look up stuff like that). He spends less time talking about what it means to be a Christian, and more time making sure that you know he’s gay.

“Let’s make a deal, you and me,” writes Gregory Coles, author of the book Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity. “Let’s make promises to each other. I promise to tell you my story. The whole story. I’ll tell you about a boy in love with Jesus who, at the fateful onset of puberty, realized his sexual attractions were persistently and exclusively for other guys. I’ll tell you how I lay on my bed in the middle of the night and whispered to myself the words I’ve whispered a thousand times since: ‘I’m gay.'”

As a pastor, this is not the first time I’ve listened to that confession. The first person I ever baptized used to call herself a lesbian. She sat across from my wife and me on our couch and wanted to know how she could still be a lesbian and be sure she would go to heaven when she died. I read to her 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, which says:

“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men [or women] who practiced homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

It was important to help her understand that one of the sins that will keep a person from the kingdom of God is homosexuality. “Idolatry” is grouped together with sexual sins because to engage in any sexually immoral practice is to bow at an altar to a false god — a god of your own design, who will fulfill all your desires and give you all the pleasures that you want.

But those who belong to Christ “have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:24). Peter said to “live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:2). Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:23-24).

The young woman responded with a common rebuttal: Jesus didn’t say anything about homosexuality. So I took her to the part of Scripture where Jesus talked about marriage, sexuality, and the sexes in Matthew 19:4-6. He said:

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let man not separate.”

“Or in other words,” I said to her, “let man not redefine.” Sex was made by God. It is His gift. Since He created it, He gets to define it. And here He says it is meant for a man and his wife, “and the two shall become one flesh.” Later the Apostle Paul wrote, “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.'” So sex outside the context of marriage between a man and a woman is sin. It is immoral. And Jesus explicitly said sexual immorality is evil (Matthew 19:9, Mark 7:21).

Furthermore, Jesus said that He would send the Holy Spirit, who would reveal more truth (John 16:13, 1 John 4:6, 5:6). As the Holy Spirit is God just as Christ is God, whatever the Spirit has said through the Apostles and the Prophets is also what Christ has said. Therefore, when we read in Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6, or 1 Timothy 1 that homosexuality is sin, though these words were written by the Apostle Paul, they are also the words of Christ. Jesus is also the author of Leviticus. Jesus reigned down fire on Sodom and Gomorrah.

The Bible strictly condemns homoerotic behavior. To encourage someone in sin that God has promised He will judge is not loving. With the love of Christ for this woman, who had been attending our church and was listening to me preach, I was not about to let her leave our living room believing that she could practice a gay lifestyle and still inherit the kingdom of God when the Bible says the opposite.

I told her to notice the part in 1 Corinthians 6:11 where Paul said, “But you were washed!” Some of the men Paul wrote to were formerly guilty of homosexual sin. But they were loved by God and forgiven their sins. They were washed and cleansed by the Holy Spirit. Sitting among the people of the Corinthian church were those who could say, “I once was that! But I’ve been washed!” They were being made into the image of Christ, who died for their sins so that He might present us before God purified and holy with great joy.

So I put this before her: “The question you need to ask is not, ‘Can I still be this and still get to heaven?’ The question is rather this: ‘Do I want God?’ Do you want Him so much that you would be willing to give up every desire of the flesh that you have in order to be like Jesus? The Bible says it is they who will be given life, and given it more abundantly. It is they who will receive His kingdom. Revelation 12:11 says of them, ‘They have conquered [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.'”

She said she believed the words that I told her. She wept and said that she wanted to repent of her sins and no longer be identified by a label of her flesh, but by the name of Jesus. I was privileged to be the one to baptize her, her appeal to God for a good conscience (1 Peter 3:21, Hebrews 10:22).

Note that when I started, I said I baptized a former lesbian. I didn’t baptize a lesbian. I baptized a woman who had crucified the old self and was raised anew in Christ. She no longer recognized herself by her former sins. She was no longer a leper. She had been washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

After reading Single, Gay, Christian, I wondered if Gregory Coles had ever heard the things I told that young woman.

Prior to picking up the book, I had been told that Single, Gay, Christian was about a young man who struggled with same-sex attraction, but he had made a commitment to Christ to remain celibate — hardly common in today’s hyper-sexualized, gender-confused, instant-gratification culture. I was intrigued, even though I had some misgivings with the title of the book.

Gregory calls himself a gay Christian. The last time I’d read a book with those two words in the title, the author was attempting to rewrite the Bible and redefine marriage. Much ink has been spilled (or keys have been clacked, I guess) about whether or not a person can be gay and a Christian. To call oneself a “gay Christian” is to tack a sin adjective to the front of the pursuit of holiness.

What if the book was entitled Single, Adulterous, Christian, the story of a man who identified himself as an adulterer? Ever since he was twelve, he’s had thoughts about sleeping with women he wasn’t married to. He feels incomplete without a woman. It’s a temptation so pervasive sometimes the desire consumes him and makes him feel dirty. But he fled from temptation and entrusted himself to Christ, who forgave his sins and clothed him in righteousness.

I’ve basically told the story of just about every maturing Christian male. So why aren’t there young Christian men walking around calling themselves single adulterous Christians? Because we understand that adultery is a behavioral sin. Who wants to be called an adulterer? Only people who behave adulterously are called adulterers. Only people who hijack planes are called hijackers. Only people who kill other people are called murderers.

There’s no such thing as being gay. There is no evidence that there are people who have a permanent orientation for homosexuality. It is not an immutable characteristic, and no one has proven otherwise. As we just read above in 1 Corinthians 6, there are men who used to do those things, but they have been cleansed by Christ, and they don’t do them anymore. Homosexuality is, by biblical definition, wrongdoing.

So why was Greg choosing to call himself gay? (There is actually an answer to this question, and I’ll get to it later on.) Other questions I had heading into the book were these: Does Greg understand holiness and sanctification? Does he know what it means to repent? Does he understand grace? Not taking anything for granted, does he understand what it means to be a Christian? Is he aware of what he’s calling himself when he proudly admits that he is gay?

Unfortunately, Single, Gay, Christian is a book that fails to define its terms. Greg makes allusions to the gospel, but he never actually says what it is. He might say something like, “Jesus died for me,” but he doesn’t explain what that means. Also absent are words like justification, sanctification, redemption, salvation, or righteousness. Greg talks about sin and repentance only in the abstract. In fact, I’m not even convinced Greg understands what homosexuality is. I came away from the book knowing more about Greg, but I’d not been any more informed about “Single Gay Christians.”

I have counseled persons wrestling with the things Greg says he’s fought through, and their stories are nothing like his. In fact, his story is quite easy compared to the testimonies I’ve heard (I’m not at liberty to provide examples). In the story he told, he was never actually oppressed by anyone. His grief was largely self-imposed, even to the extent of taking offense at things he had no reason to be offended by.

My review will sound a little harsh, and maybe it already does, but it needs to. This is serious. Deadly serious. I cannot let you leave believing that a person can be gay and a Christian when the Bible says the opposite. That doesn’t mean I think Greg isn’t a Christian. I think he’s confused and he will lead others into confusion. Whether he likes it or not, Greg is a teacher with this book, and teachers will be judged more strictly (James 3:1).

You might say, “But brother Gabe, he’s committed to celibacy! Surely that’s worth something, right?” Indeed that is brave of him. I hope he continues entrusting himself to God. However, Greg’s celibacy is a personal commitment that’s built more on what he feels is right rather than solid, convicting truth. He doesn’t make an appeal to any other self-ascribed gay men to leave a life of sinfulness and be celibate. He’s just telling his story, and he thinks that’s enough.

I’m going to do more than tell a story. I’m going to tell you to repent. I’m going to tell you to die to yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus. I do this in love. It’s because I love you that I must tell you harsh truths. My desire is to glorify and imitate my Savior God, who from the moment he began to preach in His earthly ministry, He was preaching harsh truths: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!” (Matthew 4:17)

Greg is a gifted writer and his book is easy to read. Before becoming a teacher in Pennsylvania and a worship leader in his church, he grew up in a Christian household devoted to ministry. Greg is still a young man, and many of the experiences he talks about in the book come from his time attending a Wesleyan college.

“The evangelical church is a strange place to be a sexual minority,” Greg says. “What do you call yourself when you’re gay and celibate in the church? There’s no easy word for it, no label that doesn’t confuse people or carry a heavy suitcaseful of connotations.” So believing that he had nowhere else to turn, Greg became content in calling himself gay.

“When you say ‘gay’ in the church context, many Christians assume you mean the active pursuit of gay sex,” he says. “But when I hear most people outside the walls of the church use the word gay, they’re talking about an orientation, the nature of a person’s attractions, not about a specific sexual act.” Greg wants us to believe that the world has the best intentions when it applies the word “gay.” It’s not about a sexually immoral act. It’s about who a person is, he insists.

“Being gay doesn’t mean you’re actively having sex, in the same way that being straight doesn’t mean you can’t be single and committed to sexual abstinence.” The world doesn’t have a problem understanding what a person means when they say “gay,” Greg says. The church has the problem.

All this tells me is that the strategy to normalize terms like gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender as an identity has worked, and Greg has naively bought into it.

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