There’s a challenge in that for all of us. What am I to my brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus? Do I refresh or weary them? Do I give rest or restlessness? Am I a comfort or an anxiety? Do I encourage confidence or are people walking on egg shells around me? Am I a blessing to those I am bound to in the gospel or a burden? Are the hearts of the saints being refreshed through me?

Some time ago I was speaking to a pastor about how the ministry was going. He admitted that his church seemed to be in a bit of a difficult season. When I pressed him for the reason he said that a very influential family had decided to leave the church under less than ideal circumstances. He and his elders were worried that their absence would speak volumes, people would begin asking questions, and soon – as often happens in churches – people would learn the reason for their departure. The elders were concerned that this might give way to people being angry, frustrated, or bitter. Sensing his anxiety and being curious how it would end, I asked him to let me know how things went. Much to his shock he said the collective response was not at all what was expected. Rather, in the absence of this family the whole congregation had breathed a sigh of relief.

There’s something heartbreaking in that and yet it’s not uncommon. There are brothers and sisters in the Lord who sometimes – by their attitudes, opinions, and preferences – are more of a burden to the church than a blessing. Most of us could probably think of examples without much effort. There are those domineering personalities who hold others hostage to an endless list of demands. Then there’s those passive aggressive people who assert themselves in the most uncharitable ways. Or those people who without notice can turn in an instant. Still, there’s also those people who cultivate an unspoken but observable stress and anxiety in others. Still more, are those people who stake all on their particular hobby horses. I sometimes wonder if we often think that the only danger facing a church is false teaching and teachers. True as that danger is, it seems to me that many of our fellowships and the bond we share in the gospel of Jesus are on the brink of disruption because of the people mentioned above.

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