Reformed Christians have the richest account of God’s love in all of Christendom. We trace it from before the foundation of the world through the golden chain to the certain glorification that awaits us in eternity. The doctrine is there. It just hasn’t finished the journey from our heads to our hearts.

Insecure people don’t build much. When they do, they’re often trying to prove something. But secure people who are comfortable in their own skin seem to build things more effortlessly. The centerpiece of Reformed theology should make us conquerors, not losers. But that’s not always what happens.

Reformed Christians hold to the doctrines of grace in our theological systems but end up denying them in practice.

When I was a younger Christian, I struggled with a lot of doubts that hindered my faith and growth. I wondered, “what if Christianity is wrong and the Muslims are right?” Or, “what if the Jews are right, Jesus is an imposter, and I’m a blasphemer for worshiping a mere man?” Or, “what if the atheists are right and I’m just wasting my time and energy?” Or even, “what if Christianity is correct, but I believe the wrong tradition such that my soul is in jeopardy and I’m not truly saved?”

Under all these doubts was the fear that I was deceived, that God didn’t truly love me, and I was damned to hell. Thankfully, the Lord led me to resources to resolve all these questions, and God turned those doubts into a calling. But I still remember the fear, and that fear can still linger in the hearts of Reformed Christians whose good doctrine hasn’t completed the journey from their heads to their hearts.

Christians who feel this way are insecure in the love of God, which leads them to take their eyes off of Jesus, focus on themselves, and start trying to earn God’s approval. A Christian who is insecure in God’s love will be too afraid to attempt anything daring because he or she is afraid of being wrong. So they play it safe. They focus on killing sin, which is a good thing, but they don’t take any risks to build things that might fail. They’re afraid of failure because they doubt God’s love for them.

Some traditions overemphasize the love of God at the expense of his holiness and wrath. They might feel more secure in God’s love, but it’s a warped love that doesn’t fully account for man’s sin. They tend to be more antinomian. They have a false confidence that God just adores them and can’t live without them. We’re right to be critical of those teachings. But that’s not my point. My point is that Reformed theology presents the love of God more fully, and if we believed it more deeply, we’d be more confident to take risks and build great things. Simply put, we can be so introspective and hyper-cautious that we doubt God could ever love us at all, thus making us too insecure to build anything.

God Is for You

Romans 8:31 says, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Note that first phrase: “God is for us.” When squishy evangelicals say “God is for you,” it makes Reformed Christians wince a little. Our instinct is to recoil a bit and think, “God is for GOD!” Yes, that’s true, but the two statements are not mutually exclusive. We get theologically technical at precisely the moment Paul is being most pastoral. Perhaps we resist it because we’re insecure in God’s love and verses like this sound too good to be true.

Paul asks the question in a way that answers itself. Reformed Christians don’t want to treat God like a cosmic vending machine, so God’s favor stays largely theoretical. We accept it as a doctrine but then live as if God is managing us from a distance, watching for infractions, one bad season of prayer away from withdrawing his favor.

I’ll admit I do this. I can easily fall into the habit of assuming God’s love for me is proportional to my sanctification. When I do this, I think about myself a lot more than I think about Jesus, which compounds the problem. Being insecure in God’s love makes me more self-focused, introspective, and cautious. I fear I’m being presumptuous of God’s love, so I start trying to prove to him I’m worthy of it.

The insecure Christian obeys God in a vain attempt to gain God’s approval, while the secure Christian obeys God because he’s confident he’s already gained it apart from his effort. The insecure Christian serves God like an employee who’s worried about his job security. The secure Christian serves God like the owner’s son who is fully invested in the family business.

If you’re an insecure Christian, you have a nagging, low-grade fear that God isn’t actually for you. Practically, that fear makes you timid. You don’t attempt bold things for the kingdom because you’re too unsure of your standing to risk getting it wrong. This isn’t a minor pastoral problem.

I notice this especially in the Reformed ecosystem of which I’m a part. Since there’s so much love-love-love talk from squishy evangelicals, we end up overcorrecting. We fully embrace God’s holiness, justice, and sovereignty, but God’s love can sometimes be held at arms length. Or it gets theologized into oblivion until it no longer carries the pastoral weight intended in the New Testament. We end up theologically careful and personally miserable.

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