When someone asks how we are doing and we smile and say, “Fine,” but inside our heart is aching, we are in fact pretending to be someone else. When we act like our life is great while our world is crumbling down around us, we are pretending. When we fear to open up to others about who we really are and instead mask our aches and pains, we are pretending. When we act as though we are not battling sin and temptation in our life, we are pretending.

I recently had my children go through their bedroom and get rid of toys they no longer play with. I was saddened to find in the pile of things to give away, superhero costumes, pirate swords, and homemade shields. It brought back memories of them pretending to be Superman, flying around the house with a red cape trailing behind them or acting out stories of good battling evil.

Playing dress up and pretending to be someone else is fun. But eventually children grow out of doing so.

Or do they?

A Pretend Life

In reality, many of us play dress up every day. Some of us have worn our costumes for so long that we forget we are wearing it. What kind of dress up do we play? We wear false selves, disguising who we really are so that others around us will not see our imperfections, wounds, struggles, sins, or pains.

When someone asks how we are doing and we smile and say, “Fine,” but inside our heart is aching, we are in fact pretending to be someone else. When we act like our life is great while our world is crumbling down around us, we are pretending. When we fear to open up to others about who we really are and instead mask our aches and pains, we are pretending. When we act as though we are not battling sin and temptation in our life, we are pretending.

The truth is, I am often a pretender.

I fear what other people may think of me so I hide what’s really going on in my life. Instead of talking about my aching heart, I talk about the funny thing my child said, a new sale at the store, or what I saw on television last night. Rather than admit my failures, sins, or temptations, I keep them hidden behind shallow conversation and a painted on smile.

Pretending No More

While small talk is a cultural and often a necessary part of conversation, it shouldn’t always stay there. Small talk is for introductions and perhaps even for those we’ll only meet once. But when it comes to Christian friendships with others in the Body of Christ, at some point, conversations should go deeper. In fact, it needs to go deeper. Certainly not with every person we meet, but there should always be people in our lives with whom we are real. We need to have friends with whom we share our true, real selves.

God gave us each other in the Body of Christ to encourage and spur one another on (Hebrews 10:24). We simply can’t do life on our own; we need the support of other believers.

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