Christians are called to be zealous for the truth of the gospel, but they have to acknowledge that they are sinners, too. A pastor’s wife might be leading a women’s Bible study when a particular sin comes up in the passage. She might witness to her neighbor. Or, she may be irked by the foibles of a fellow Christian. In each case, the pastor’s wife needs gentleness in approaching others.

Gentle Mary Laid Her Child, a 1919 Christmas carol about the importance of the Christ Child, describes Mary in only one word. Gentleness. In our time, women would shun being called just gentle. Today, many women want to be described as strong, accomplished, extraordinary or even self-assertive. Furthermore, some think the “song” is mainly about them.

In an online article called “What Are the Qualities of a Strong Woman and How to Get Them,” Omar Negron said, “They (strong women) always put their dreams over anything else. They recognize their strengths and use them as leverage to be successful in life.” This is not gentle Mary. And, it is not biblical.

But, women’s magazines and internet postings promote this philosophy every day. Pastors’ wives are not immune to the pressure to be the victorious arbiters of their own successful destinies. They could be tempted to forget their real stronghold and to take things into their own hands. So, we need to pray for our pastors’ wives to be gentle.

Here are some areas where we can pray for the pastor’s wife.

Her speech. Women are verbal creatures, and their tongues can get them into trouble. A pastor’s wife might have a disagreement with her husband, an ongoing discipline problem with her child or a difference of opinion with a church committee. Please pray that she will speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, be gentle and show perfect courtesy toward all people. (Titus 3:2) Pray, too that she will speak soft words, and, thereby, turn away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)

Her witness. Christians are called to be zealous for the truth of the gospel, but they have to acknowledge that they are sinners, too. A pastor’s wife might be leading a women’s Bible study when a particular sin comes up in the passage. She might witness to her neighbor. Or, she may be irked by the foibles of a fellow Christian. In each case, the pastor’s wife needs gentleness in approaching others. Pray for her that she will bear with people in love, humility, patience and gentleness. (Ephesians 4:2) Please ask God that she will defend the faith with all gentleness and respect. (I Peter 3:15, II Timothy 2:25) Pray that this woman would be able, when necessary, to restore others in a spirit of gentleness. (Galatians 6:1)

Pray that the pastor’s wife will be able to say, with the apostle Paul, “Nor did we seek glory from people…but we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.” (I Thessalonians 2: 6, 7) Pray that she would be gentle, like Mary.

A country girl married to a city boy for 40 years, Patsy Evans experiences the full spectrum of what is it like to love a pastor and be the mother to two children in ministry. What she does know, she shares with you and prays it will glorify God. This article first appeared on her blog Sunday Women and is used with permission.