Pastor Bob Smallman, 64, of Bible Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Merrill, retired this summer after spending 12 years as chaplain for the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Department. Smallman, who continues to serve as a backup chaplain for the department, said his role was to break the news to a family as compassionately as he could.

Duane Hamilton never gets used to the phone calls that come in the middle of the night, asking him to go to work.

With sleep still in his eyes and after a quick change of clothes, Hamilton heads out. Sometimes, he goes to an intersection illuminated by flashing red and blue lights. Other times, he visits a rural home where the occupants are fast asleep.

The circumstances of his call-outs are different every time, but each one has a common theme — tragedy has befallen someone, somewhere.

Most clergy members spend Christmas sharing the story of the birth of Jesus Christ and his message of peace on earth. Clergy members and retired pastors such as Hamilton who serve as police chaplains, though, typically spend their workdays sharing news of death.

Still, they try to follow in Christ’s footsteps and bring what peace they can to people who are suffering and in pain — and they do it all year long.

On average of once a month, Hamilton accompanies an officer to notify family members that their loved one has died. His job is simple — tell the family the facts, listen to their questions and let them grieve. He has no agenda and doesn’t preach.

“A lot of times, it is just being there, not saying anything, just your presence is enough,” Hamilton said.

Hamilton, 68, serves as a chaplain for four local police departments. He was a minister for 45 years, including 10 years at Wausau Bible Church, before his retirement in 2009.
He was one of a small group of pastors who were approached in 1995 by former Wausau Police Chief Bill Brandimore, who wanted to appoint a chaplain for his department. Hamilton agreed to the unpaid job and has served in that capacity ever since. He also is chaplain for the Rothschild, Kronenwetter and Everest Metro police departments.

Serving as a police chaplain is an extension of Hamilton’s career as a pastor, tending to a flock in good times and in bad.

“I get satisfaction trying my best helping people in need,” Hamilton said last week at his Wausau home.

Bearer of bad news
A police chaplain typically has two roles: to help with death notifications for crashes, accidents, suicides and to residents whose family members have died outside the area, and to serve officers. Death notifications are by far the least pleasant part of the job, but one chaplains find to be the most important.

Pastor Bob Smallman, 64, of Bible Presbyterian Church in Merrill, retired this
summer after spending 12 years as chaplain for the Lincoln County Sheriff’s
Department. Smallman, who continues to serve as a backup chaplain for the
department, said his role was to break the news to a family as compassionately as he
could.

“Obviously, when a person sees a uniformed officer and a person in a suit walking to their door, they know it’s not good news,” Smallman said.

Smallman and Hamilton agree that there is no fancy talk or mixing of scripture or theology when telling someone that a loved one is dead. The news usually is met with a
mix of tears, screams and the kind of gut-wrenching emotion that one would expect
under those circumstances.

In some cases, the chaplain’s job ends minutes after sharing the news. One of the first questions the chaplain asks a grieving person is whether they have their own pastor, priest, minister or religious figure they want called. The chaplain also waits until other family members and friends arrive before leaving.

“I think (Hamilton) brings a calmness and a level of peace to a very difficult situation
that most of us (officers) can’t provide,” Wausau Police Chief Jeff Hardel said.

Sometimes, a chaplain’s job requires more effort.

Hamilton recalled helping a Georgia woman two years ago who drove a tractor trailer with her husband for a living. Her husband was hit by the truck and killed while working on the pin that connects the cab of the truck and the trailer as they were unloading at a Wausau business.

The woman had no family in town, and Hamilton said he spent several days helping her with funeral arrangements and dealing with grief after seeing her husband die.

On another occasion years ago, Hamilton said he had to tell a young woman her husband had died in a snowmobile crash.

The woman told him that she didn’t know what she would do next, Hamilton recalled.

“I thought she meant five, eight, 10 years down the road.” Hamilton said. “She said, ‘No, right now.'”

Those who have suffered a tragic loss said a chaplain can help bring order as families
experience shock and ride a roller coaster of emotions.

Mary Kirlin, 55, of Wausau said Hamilton choreographed officers, a medical examiner and grieving family members two years ago after a family friend committed
suicide. Kirlin said she can’t remember Hamilton’s words that night, but she remembered the calming influence he had on everyone at the scene.

“(Hamilton) was just a comfort and a presence in that place. I marveled at him,” Kirlin said.

Smallman said cases that involve young people are the most difficult for him. He recalled trying to console a teen who found his mother dead of an overdose.

“You always feel inadequate because there are no words that can take away the pain, but we do the best we can to provide help,” Smallman said.

Brad Main, the pastor of Journey Church in Merrill, replaced Smallman this spring as
the lead chaplain for the sheriff’s department. Main, 46, recalls a tragedy in his own family 15 years ago, when police did not have a chaplain to offer solace after breaking news of a death in the Main family.

Main said he hopes to provide that stability and comfort to families when he brings bad
news.

“You just try to help bring some order to a very chaotic situation,” Main said.

Officer counselor

Chaplains’ other duty is to provide a listening ear for officers. Both Smallman and Hamilton have had dozens of ride-alongs with officers on patrol. Conversation
can range from something as benign as the officer’s job duties or the Green Bay
Packers to an officer’s questions about family and job troubles.

Smallman, who was first appointed chaplain in 1996 by former Lincoln County
Sheriff Paul Proulx, said it took officers a while to trust him. Smallman said he
recently learned that deputies told him private information as a test to see whether
it got back to supervisors. The information remained confidential, he said.

“Police are a very tight-knit group, and given our profession, tend to be untrusting
of people outside that circle,” Lincoln County Sheriff Jeff Jaeger said. “He managed to gain the trust of our officers.”

Chaplains are available to officers after traumatic incidents, but Hamilton and
Smallman say they rarely are utilized in those situations. Smallman surmised that
many officers choose to speak with their own families, if they talk about their
concerns at all.

“Officers maintain control of their emotions,” Smallman said. “For these guys
to admit stuff or express fear to their wives or anyone is difficult.”

The role of the chaplain is anything but ordinary. A chaplain will provide a shoulder
to cry on, share a few tears or offer to help contact funeral homes, family members or
other clergy. Hamilton and Smallman said their faith guides them during a spiritual
moment, such as death, but the two said they never judge a person who questions
their faith during tragedy.

“I just try to be open and transparent,” Hamilton said. “I’ll say, ‘I don’t know why
God would allow this to happen or for what purpose. Perhaps time will tell. Perhaps
not.'”

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