Jesus Christ himself, our God, Creator, Redeemer, burden-bearer is the only one who can not only fully understand, but also fully help. I need to be humble enough to admit my weakness, and I need to ask constantly for his strength and grace. He promises to be with me (see Deut. 31:8). Unless he is untrue to his Word (an impossibility), he will always hear and answer (see Psalm 4:1). There is no better way to build hope than to consider the faithfulness of Christ.

To build hope may seem counterintuitive when our children are making ungodly choices. In a recent text thread, a friend said to me, “There’s always hope because there’s Christ!”

“Yes!” said my heart. I love encouraging, basic truths.

“Yes!” said my theology. I love the perfect symmetry and bright logic of the gospel message. 

However, I often find myself ready to listen to other voices as well. I seem ready to ask:

“What about the turmoil that my child’s choices have brought into the family?” 

“What about the despair that makes so much sense as I watch her pursue a steady path away from her Creator?” 

“What about the intensely dark times when I fear that nothing will change?”

We may feel that if we tell ourselves that hope is somewhere out there for the taking—the believing—we will be deceiving ourselves. Have we given up on building reliable hope?

How have we arrived at this spiritual and mental point, even though Scripture speaks of “the God of hope” (Rom. 15:13), and of the “hope to which he has called you” (Eph. 1:18)—not to mention “a new and living hope” (1 Pet. 1:3)? Scripture is full of hope, so it must be available to believers.

Questions to Help Build Hope

When we feel hopeless, there’s a lot going on in our hearts. Despair takes root when we begin to believe untruths about our Creator—we forget God’s character and power over all. With the Holy Spirit’s help, we need to examine our thoughts before the Lord. We can ask ourselves the following questions to help build hope in God through sorrow.

1. When I Say, “It’s Hopeless!” What Am I Really Saying?

First, I’m saying that my child is in charge, that his choices and opinions are the final word and cannot be challenged—by me or by God. In other words, I have granted sovereignty to him! That thinking perfectly reflects and falls in line with the current philosophy of a fallen world. Rather, I need to be saying, “The word of the Lord endures forever” (1 Pet. 1:25) and “Your word is truth” (John 17:17)! 

Second, yes, my child’s actions are sinful, but God is permitting them. I’ve lost sight of Rom. 8:28: “We know that for those who love God, all things work together for good.” I’ve forgotten that God says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways” (Isa. 55:8), and that his plan never contains “oops” events. I have forgotten that he brings good out of evil; I’ve forgotten that his is a long-range view that need not map onto my timetable. When I forget these things, I’m essentially believing that my ways are better than God’s.

Third, when I say, “it’s hopeless,” I may really be saying that I need to explore more deeply what the redemptive work of Christ should mean in my life. What should be the effects of the fact that Christ came to redeem me, to make it possible for me to walk with him, to trust him?

Read More