Processing can be good—it can help us think wisely about life’s circumstances and how to respond well to them. But overprocessing is bad. It’s a paralyzing trap that perpetuates anxiety and bitterness.

“I’m still processing that.”

I hear this phrase, or some variation of it, all the time from folks around my age (I’m 32). I’m not aware of hearing it often from older people.

I’m part of a generation of processors. We “process” everything: Suffering. Grief. Hardship. Loss. Confusing circumstances. Arguments. Hurt feelings. Good dates. Bad dates. Neutral dates. Movies. Books. TV shows. Throwaway comments. Advice. Sermons. Worship services. Meetings. Feedback from bosses. Feedback from coworkers. Feedback from subordinates. Elections.

What do we mean by “processing”? Typically, we mean something like spending enough time thinking about an experience, encounter, or event to have a settled conclusion on it and its effects on us. Before we’re ready to talk about it or share how it has affected us, we need time to process.

The rise in processing talk is directly connected to the rise of the therapeutic generally in Western culture. Processing is one of the major goals of therapy, and in a generation saturated with therapy talk, it makes sense that this concept would be ubiquitous for younger adults.

On the surface, this isn’t bad. It can even approximate biblical virtues like being “slow to speak” (James 1:19). But based on my experience with processing and my observations as a friend and pastor, I think we’re in danger of overprocessing.

Ultra-Processed Experiences

Just as ultra-processed foods can be bad for our physical health, when we overprocess experiences, we artificially prolong their lives with unnatural ingredients that alter the DNA of the original experience, encounter, or event. This causes us harm.

What are those “unnatural ingredients”? Here’s one: venting. Processing often takes the form of venting to a close confidant or spouse. I’ve been guilty of processing some experience with my wife, only to have her ask me, “Is what you’re doing helpful? Do you want advice? Or do you just want to complain about this person?”

It’s not always bad to get something off your chest in a safe, confidential space. But when that turns to venting, gossiping, and grumbling, you’re not only sinning against the person you’re talking about; you’re poisoning the well of your own heart. Venting doesn’t help you process an experience; it expels the possibility of grace and hardens your heart.

Another unnatural ingredient common in our processing is rumination. The American Psychiatric Association defines it this way: “Rumination involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences. . . . [It] can contribute to the development of depression or anxiety and can worsen existing conditions.”

How does rumination work in practice? You’ve had a hard conversation with a friend. As you process it, your mind latches on to two or three hurtful comments he made—or maybe something you said that you wish you could’ve said differently. You replay these moments and read meaning into them. As days go by, the unhelpful comments loom larger and larger, crowding out other things—possibly humbler or more gracious things—said in the conversation. By the time you’ve fully processed the conversation, your emotions about it are more heightened than they were at the beginning.

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