God saved me. He knew my gifts and talents because He gave them to me. God led me to marry a man whom He would call to be a pastor one day. God’s grace was always sufficient for me. And, besides, God’s biblical list of requirements for pastors’ wives is fairly short, and it doesn’t include specific musical talents or teaching gifts. (I wrote about that subject in A Wife and Life Manual .) Based on my biblical understanding, here are two goals I set for myself.

Each Sunday in my childhood church, my pastor’s wife moved effortlessly from playing the piano in worship to teaching children’s Sunday school. As a young girl, I thought that her role was the God-given one for every ministry spouse.

I knew I didn’t have a hint of such abilities. I started and ended piano lessons at age six. And, even as a child, I sometimes got sick to my stomach when I had to be in a room filled with overexcited kids. In the unlikely event that I ever got married, my husband and I would be disqualified from ministry because of my shortcomings.

When I became an adult, I saw things differently. For example, I had a more positive view of marriage than I did as a child. In addition, I found out that the piano-playing-Sunday-school-teaching pastor’s wife requirement was a myth.

What caused me to change? About a year into my marriage, God called my husband to pursue the pastorate and go to seminary. Soon after our fifth anniversary, Brad was ordained. At the time, I had some fears about my suitability for ministry, such as not knowing enough of the Bible and being introverted with people. However, I never worried about the piano.

My reasoning went like this: God saved me. He knew my gifts and talents because He gave them to me. God led me to marry a man whom He would call to be a pastor one day. God’s grace was always sufficient for me. And, besides, God’s biblical list of requirements for pastors’ wives is fairly short, and it doesn’t include specific musical talents or teaching gifts. (I wrote about that subject in A Wife and Life Manual .)

Based on my biblical understanding, here are two goals I set for myself.

1. Don’t try to please people. This doesn’t help. Some church members have all kinds of ideas of what their pastor’s wife should think, buy, do and wear. If I meet every unbiblical expectation and exhaust myself in the process, I will still disappoint someone. This is a burden God does not call me to bear.

2. Do try to please God. He will help you. God expects no more or no less of the pastor’s wife than he does of any of His children. He wants me to be a good steward of all that he has given me, including my spiritual gifts. In all of this, He loves me like the Father that He is. Plus, he gives me the faith and strength to obey Him.

His burden is easy, and He gives me rest for my soul (Matt. 11:28-30). And that, dear sisters, is not a myth.

A country girl married to a city boy for 40 years, Patsy Evans experiences the full spectrum of what is it like to love a pastor and be the mother to two children in ministry. What she does know, she shares with you and prays it will glorify God. This article first appeared on her blog Sunday Women and is used with permission.