McKinley is an engaging narrator who is conscious he’s standing on the shoulder of a giant. He’s crafted a book that is faithful, revitalising and, thankfully, trimmed of Ye Olde English. Occasionally, his preacher’s socks are showing when he drifts into overly formulaic three- and four-point chapters, but sometimes we all need little steps before walking in giant’s shoes.

Calling Jesus my friend has never sat well with me. Lord? Yes. Saviour? Yes. Prince of Peace? Yes. God? Definitely! But friend? That’s a very emotionally loaded term.

Is he like the kids I grew up with in the country, riding our bikes through fields of red dirt and purple Paterson’s curse? Or my teenage classmates who rolled their eyes at the uncool crowd?

Is he the wonderful saint who has always been willing to listen to my hurts over a warm meal? Or the distant friend who gives me the cold shoulder?

Just as some Christians struggle calling God “Father”, some of us struggle seeing Jesus as a friend. Into this space comes American Baptist pastor and author Mike McKinley’s edifying new book, Friendship with God. It’s based on the classic, Communion with God, written by 17th century English puritan John Owen. McKinley modernises Owen for the iPhone generation, respecting the source material but also adding his own reflections for those of us who perceive God as remote and distant.

Our Own Worst Enemy

As McKinley observes, people struggle with the concept of friendship with God despite the Bible’s assurances (Jn 15:13–14; 1 Cor 1:9; 1 Jn 1:3). First, it sounds too good to be true. Second, we don’t know how this friendship plays out in real life.

It’s easy to accuse God as being an absent friend, but that is blame-shifting. We’re the ones who aren’t naturally God’s friends: “we go about our lives thinking about ourselves. We focus on the things we have and the things we want to have” (9).

Ultimately, we were God’s enemies (Rom 5:10), spiritually dead (Eph 2:1), haters of God (Rom 1:30), and children of wrath (Eph 2:3) (10).

Best Friends Forever

So how did we become friends with someone like God? We couldn’t. Not by our own efforts.

Friendship with God is simply impossible—unless God himself makes it happen. He must act. He must do something to mend our relationship. All the cards are in his hands. (10)

Thankfully, God has acted. God the Father sent God the Son to die for our sins and defeat death. When God the Son ascended into heaven, God the Spirit was sent to give us new spiritual lives. God has initiated everything needed for us to be his friends.

As McKinley repeatedly points out, this God-initiated friendship then becomes a two-way street. To be in union with Jesus means we must be in communion with God. Always. He reminds us, “Because we are in Jesus and the Holy Spirit lives in us, we have a lot in common with God now.” (12). We must love the same things our friend loves, and delight in the things that please him. We do this by ongoing prayer, love, delight, obedience, and sharing in the Lord’s Supper (12). 

And amazingly, our affections need to be focussed on more than just Jesus. Any authentic friendship with God must be directed to each person of the Trinity (15).

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