Just as family get-togethers aren’t really about the meal, the Lord’s Supper isn’t really about the bread and the wine. In both cases, the meal represents something far greater.

My MaMa loved having everyone together. In the months leading up to Thanksgiving, she would work the phones trying to secure each family member’s commitment. Her tactics included guilt trips and the bribery of promising to cook favorite dishes. Guaranteed on every occasion—German chocolate cake and regular chocolate cake with layers numbered in the high teens. She knew the exact excuses for every missing person. She never granted her approval for an absence easily.

My mother-in-law prioritizes having everyone together, too. She often reschedules get-togethers because one person has a conflict. She works hard to make her home a welcoming place everyone enjoys. She used to get mad at me for telling her I had “things to do” as a reason for not showing up. It’s a joke now—“I bet Casey has ‘things to do.’”

For the longest time, I didn’t get it. Don’t we see each other enough? We just did this last year, and I’ve done it every year of my life. It’ll be fine if a few people miss. Life will go on, and we’ll try again next year. Don’t they realize some people just have “things to do”?

I see it their way now. You see, my MaMa passed away a couple years ago. Those meals with everyone present aren’t possible anymore. We only have our memories of them now.

There’s a reason the Bible connects wisdom with growing older. Psalm 90:12 is one of my favorite verses: “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” My MaMa knew something I did not yet understand. She had lived long enough to know that the ability to get the whole family together doesn’t last forever. It’s only a matter of time before the young people get too busy and the old people die off. She fought until her dying day to keep us all together because she understood the significance of having everyone present for a meal.

The meal is never the point. It’s just an excuse for the opportunity to forge something more significant—identity, belonging, and love.

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