Wedding vows are more than window-dressing. They bring real, measurable, relational consequences. Too many young adults are unaware of those consequences and, as such, do not understand what marriage really is. The Church can help. In fact, it must, because the truth about marriage and cohabitation needs to get out there.

Even as the American marriage rate has steadily declined, the cohabitation rate has steadily grown. According to a 2019 Pew Research study, more Americans have cohabitated at some point than have been married. Fifteen times more couples live together outside of marriage today than in 1960. Rather than being an option among many, cohabitation is a cultural norm when it comes to romantic relationships, one that reflects the belief that marriage is “just a piece of paper,” and all that matters for a couple is that they “live together and love each other.”

In truth, cohabitation is a disastrous way to form a household. Recently on X, pro-life author Lila Rose highlighted the facts about “shacking up”:

According to research, couples who cohabitate before marriage are 48% more likely to divorce. …Cohabitation doesn’t set you up for success—it undermines the success of your marriage. So, for those who are dating and in a relationship: build a strong foundation by growing together spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. If this is the person God is calling you to marry, make the commitment first—get married, then build your home together.  

Reposting this advice, Brad Wilcox of the Institute for Family Studies reaffirmed how many young people accept the popular wisdom on cohabitation despite how wrong it is:

My students [at the University of Virginia] think cohabitation is a great way to prepare for marriage. They don’t know: Cohabitation [is] actually linked to marital failure. [A] Stanford study found that Cohabiting [with an] extra partner boosted women’s odds of divorce by 3 times.

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