Men, when you take a wife, you are taking responsibility for a covenant. You are not signing up for self-fulfillment, but for self-denial. Your vows are not the start of a fairy tale. They are the beginning of a funeral—for self. To love your wife as Christ loved the Church means to die daily. To bleed, to serve, to lead. It means putting her needs above your own ambitions, your children above your own comfort, and the health of your home above the lure of career, hobbies, or ease.

The first time I heard the phrase “Marriage is where you come to die,” it was from my friend Darrell Harrison. He was right. You don’t hear that kind of truth from celebrities.

Taylor Swift is engaged, and the world is buzzing about rings, dresses, and headlines. For the culture, marriage is the ultimate lifestyle accessory: an event, a fashion show, a trending topic.

But the Bible tells a different story. Marriage isn’t about self-expression. It’s about self-denial.

And this weekend, as I officiate my son’s wedding, that truth will ring louder than ever.

Contract vs. Covenant

The culture treats marriage as a contract. You enter in when it suits your desires, and you leave when the terms no longer work for you. Contracts can be rewritten, broken, and ignored. And tragically, the statistics show that far too many self-professing Christians treat marriage in the same way. The divorce rates among believers mirror the world, exposing a troubling reality: even inside the church, many no longer see marriage as a covenant.

But biblically, marriage is not a contract—it’s a covenant. It is not primarily horizontal between a man and a woman; it is vertical, before the face of God. When a husband and wife say “I do,” they are not just making promises to one another; they are making vows to the Lord.

And a covenant, unlike a contract, is binding. It is permanent. It is costly.

“The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth … guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.” (Malachi 2:14–15)

The Celebration of Singleness

We live in a world that celebrates singleness—but not the kind of singleness Paul praised in 1 Corinthians 7. Paul spoke of devotion to the Lord. The culture speaks of devotion to self.

The “singleness” our world exalts is rebellion dressed up as freedom. It’s not men and women set apart to serve Christ. It’s men and women set loose to serve lust. Endless hookups. Temporary flings. Perpetual adolescence that calls itself liberation.

This counterfeit singleness sneers at God’s design. It shouts, “I don’t need a man.” It boasts, “I don’t need a woman.” But the fruit is always the same—emptiness, brokenness, and bondage to sin.

True singleness—the kind Paul describes—is not a half-life. It’s a holy life. But counterfeit singleness is just selfishness masquerading as freedom.

God’s Word calls marriage a covenant and true singleness a calling. The world calls selfishness “independence” and promiscuity “freedom.” It is a lie straight from the pit. And Christians must be bold enough to name it.

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