Many examples exist of leaders who may have sound doctrine on paper, but fail to live it out—to the peril of their church and their church’s gospel witness. In the oft-neglected letter of 3 John, we hear about Diotrephes, a leader causing great harm for the church he serves.

I’m grateful for God’s emphasis on both sound doctrine and sound living for Christian leaders. That’s why Paul commanded Timothy to watch his life and doctrine closely (1 Timothy 4:16)—a Christian leader needs to back up the message of God’s Holy Word with their holy lives.

Unfortunately, many examples exist of leaders who may have sound doctrine on paper, but fail to live it out—to the peril of their church and their church’s gospel witness. In the oft-neglected letter of 3 John, we hear about Diotrephes, a leader causing great harm for the church he serves. John writes to Gaius in 3 John 9–10:

I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.

From John’s description of Diotrephes, we see at least five marks of a spiritually abusive leader:

1. Selfish ambition

Diotrephes “likes to put himself first.” May that never be said of us! Selfish leaders who crave attention and adulation are fleshly leaders, for our calling isn’t to exalt ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord and we as His servants (2 Corinthians 4:5). We are to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than ourselves” (Philippians 2:4). When we push ourselves to the front of the line, we cut in front of Jesus and rob Him of His glory. Godly leaders are humble servants who humbly shepherd the flock, knowing God will hold them accountable and reward them (1 Peter 5:1–4).

2. Lacks respect for authority

Diotrephes did not acknowledge the apostolic authority of John or other leaders in the church. Rejecting the authority of God’s apostles is tantamount to rejecting God’s authority and trying to exert our own. These days many reject the apostolic authority by rejecting Scripture. Others reject God-given leaders of the church due to pride and selfishness. If you or anyone you know brushes off clear commands of Scripture for church life, the qualities of leadership found in 1 Timothy 3 or Titus 1, or directly undermines the words of a leader without Scriptural warrant, beware. You may have a Diotrephes on your hands.

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