When language is used along the lines of “coward” or “malakoi,” our first response should not be to automatically cringe and clutch our pearls, but to see if the language fits the situation or not.…We must  stop being so gay in our responses to “that’s so gay.”

Years ago, my wife and I hosted a Bible study in our home at the request of my son-in-law, Tommy. It was originally just an addendum to our regular Church teaching, where I was one of the pastors, but it soon developed into more of a marriage and family life approach, since almost everyone in the group was either newly-married or was engaged. In a fairly organic segregation of the sexes, Heidi taught the young women, and I took the young men. Our particular study was named “That Woman You Gave Me,” in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek reference to Genesis 3:12, where Adam attempts to blame his wife (and ultimately God Himself) for his sin. These were wonderful times of fellowship, teaching, and conversation, but one comment especially stood out to me.

Everybody Knows

It was early in 2016, and the SCOTUS had recently passed the famous “Obergefell” decision, the landmark, irrational ruling that legalized “gay mirage” in all 50 states. Now, responses in our local Church community ranged from absolute “Chicken Little” panic to a firm resolve to never recognize such blasphemy. During our Bible study, my son Aaron made a funny observation: “As long as there are junior high boys, there will always be two truisms—one, there will be some kind of music that’s way too abrasive and loud for their parents, and two, the phrase ‘that’s so gay’ will never be intended or taken as a compliment.” Of course we all busted out laughing, partly because of his delivery, and also because the best humor is always tied to truth—it just works that way, which is why the left can’t meme. The fact that “that’s so gay” is not a compliment is both funny and true.

In my day, as we boomers say, the ultimate junior high insult was to refer to another chum as a woman, not because we thought there was anything inherently wrong with women, but because it was so unnatural for a boy to act like one—and everybody knew that effeminacy in a man is shameful. Yes, it was used to shame him, but also to shame him into playing the man. There’s also one other important thing to note: Neither my son’s observation, nor the somewhat-puerile insults of my youth were ever done in the presence of girls—no, these were reserved for when you were in the company of other boys or other men. Even rascals like us knew that girls shouldn’t be exposed to the banter of our inner-circle—that would be inappropriate.

“Coward”

Recently, one of the contributors to ‘Christianity Today’ (which is about as… oh, never mind) replied to Florida governor Ron DeSantis with one word, “Coward.” The governor had posted something negative about Ukraine’s Zelensky and his disrespectful outbursts. This was on “X,” and there were quite a few comments, both pro and con, but one stood out from the pack, another one-word reply: “Malakoi.” Now, the irony of the situation is just amazing, with Ron DeSantis being a literal combat veteran, and the other man’s vocation having nothing to do with genuine battle. Since this reply came from pastor Tom Ascol, a renowned theologian and a true Southern Baptist statesman, if there ever was one, the cries of consternation came in fast and furious. Pastor Ascol used a specific word that can be misunderstood, so many accused him of “hiding behind Koiné Greek,” the language of the New Testament. They argued that since many understood his comment to mean “that’s so gay,” then why not just say it? Why not admit it? Now, in my universe, any man who calls another man a coward had better be prepared to defend that statement—he must prove it beyond reasonable doubt, but if not, he must rescind it or suffer the consequences. It’s also commendable that a man would rise to defend another man’s honor, especially if the offense comes from someone who has no skin in the game. But even then, the question remains as to whether pastor Ascol’s one-word response was appropriate or not.

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