I wonder how our relationships might change if we gave each other as much grace, leniency, and benefit of the doubt as we do ourselves? When it comes to others, we are proficient prosecutors, even, and especially, when we do not have all the data. When it comes to ourselves, we are pervasive permittors, believing the best about ourselves even it is unwarranted. But we are to consider others as more important than ourselves and outdo one another in showing honor (Phil. 2:3-5, Rom. 12:10). Among other things, that will look like believing the best. This is the art and skill of relationships and it is life-changing.

It was a few months after surgery and the bills started arriving. Thirty thousand for this, forty for that. My medical bills were racking up. Thankfully, the co-op to which I belong (and my godly wife) had a handle on things and were coming through in the clutch. But there was one reimbursement that was absent, and it was a big one. A check from a co-op member in the sum of several thousand dollars was supposed to come in to pay the hospital, but it was late. One month. Then two. I lost my cool on more than on occasion. “Where is that check?!” “Who is this person keeping us hanging like that?” “Don’t they know that we have six-figure bills here?”

Then my wife got the letter. Along with the check was an apology from the individual. “I am so sorry that this is late. I have cancer and am going through rounds of chemotherapy right now, and, because of that, have been experiencing memory loss.”

I wanted to crawl into a cave and never return. The Holy Spirit necessarily and lovingly crushed me with conviction. The judgmental spirit. The speed with which I assumed the worst. It was sinful. And it’s something I have struggled with too often.

“Love…believes all things” (1 Cor. 13:4, 7). Love believes the best about one another.

Believing the best does not mean “believes everything that we hear to be fact,” “refuses to believe that someone committed a wrong,” willful gullibility, or denial of anything negative. That is not loving, but lying. Solomon cautions us here: “The naïve believes everything, but the sensible considers his steps” (Prov. 14:15).

To believe “all things” needs to be understood in the context of 1 Corinthians. The church struggled with self-exalting attitudes, a self-preferring demeanor, pride, and, consequently, a lack of love for each other. There was suspicion, cynicism, and judgmentalism. And it was unacceptable for people claiming the great name of Jesus Christ. Believing the best about one another is an essential form of loving one another (1 Cor. 13:4-7).

One way that believing the best could be defined is this: erring on the side of believing a favorable reality of another’s actions and attitudes as opposed to suspicion or cynicism, until clear evidence shows otherwise.

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