As a pastor you are an under-shepherd of Jesus Christ, but you must actively shepherd. We have to fear God more than sheep; if you live in fear of sheep, you don’t know your mission or calling. Some sheep have more “fleece” than others, as in wealthy tithers and donors. Some people have influence and they know it, and God help you if you make them angry. Loving sheep means you have to lead them through rough places to get them where they need to be, and they might not like it. For the sake of the flock, you have to be willing to lose some people, and you will lose some no matter what you do.

I had the great privilege of pastoring one church for more than four decades. I began to preach for them when they were a mission work and today sit in the same congregation as the pastor emeritus. Thankfully, my tenure was mostly peaceful, but I don’t know of any pastor who can remain long in one place and not face conflict. Some conflicts are well worth having, and some you cannot avoid. I have also learned that the way you fight is as important as whether you win or lose.

In fact, a pastor might win a fight and eventually lose his church, or his reputation, or even lose his own spiritual battle.

Conflict Scale 

There are certain issues for which a pastor should be willing to lose his job, if his conscience and integrity mean anything. Unfortunately, some pastors seem ready to fight over the most obscure and insignificant matters, “making mountains out of molehills.” All of us in the ministry need to be careful that we are not at either extreme of the “conflict scale,” from being contentious to being a flatterer. If by personality we have a “contentious spirit” we probably should not be in any kind of spiritual leadership. Paul makes this clear in 2 Timothy 2:23-26 (NIV):

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

The other end of the scale is the “people pleaser,” the glad-hander, the pastor with the plastic smile who is always testing to see which way the wind is blowing and works to make sure the boat is never rocked. This is the pastor who avoids all conflict and inevitably backs into them, usually angering people because he simply won’t take a stand on anything. Some people might think you are holy for not fighting; others will think you a coward. Again the apostle Paul has something to say about this in 1 Thessalonians 1:4-6 (NIV):

We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness.  We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.

Fear God, Not Sheep

As a pastor you are an under-shepherd of Jesus Christ, but you must actively shepherd. We have to fear God more than sheep; if you live in fear of sheep, you don’t know your mission or calling. Some sheep have more “fleece” than others, as in wealthy tithers and donors. Some people have influence and they know it, and God help you if you make them angry. Loving sheep means you have to lead them through rough places to get them where they need to be, and they might not like it. For the sake of the flock, you have to be willing to lose some people, and you will lose some no matter what you do.

Choose your fights carefully and look to your own soul and behavior.

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