I began to observe things coming from Sam Allberry’s ministry site, Living Out, that troubled me. When I contacted some trusted pastors who openly supported Living Out ministries, they encouraged me that Allberry and his ministry partners were committed to the same biblical principles regarding homosexuality that we were.

A Closer Examination of Living Out

In my past experience, many Christians have not demonstrated compassion towards homosexuals and those struggling with same-sex attraction. As I shared in my first article, I found it common for Christians, even pastors, to express ridicule and contempt towards homosexuals rather than love and compassion for them. Therefore, some of the shifts occurring among evangelicals regarding how we help those struggling with same-sex attraction are for the good.

Leading the way in this conversation has been Sam Allberry who is founding editor of Living Out. He is a pastor who identifies as a same-sex attracted person and has become a central voice in evangelicalism for the discussion of how the church should help those experiencing same-sex attraction. Major evangelical ministries (e.g. TGC, ERLC, Ravi Zacharias International Ministries) are giving him a platform to help the church better understand and address these issues. Much of what I have read or heard from Sam Allberry has been essentially sound and consistent with Scripture’s teaching. For this I am grateful.

However, I began to observe things coming from Sam Allberry’s ministry site, Living Out, that troubled me. When I contacted some trusted pastors who openly supported Living Out ministries, they encouraged me that Allberry and his ministry partners were committed to the same biblical principles regarding homosexuality that we were.

Therefore, I decided to take a closer look. Maybe the alarm bells in my head were misguided. After all, some of my most respected pastor friends promoted the ministry-even hosting Living Out events in their churches-and those in the SBC gave Living Out a ringing endorsement. Russell Moore, President of the SBC’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, posted a hearty recommendation directly on the Living Out website.

“These resources are anchored to biblical conviction, unwilling to be tossed by the winds of cultural change. They are also full of mercy, offering God’s grace as well as practical wisdom for those struggling to follow Christ.”¹

Based on Moore’s evaluation, I proceeded to test some of the articles by the Living Out ministry leaders. Were these resources truly “anchored to biblical conviction” and “practical wisdom for those struggling to follow Christ?”

The Testing of the Resources

According to its website, Living Out is “co-ordinated by three Christian leaders who experience same sex attraction. They are: Sam Allberry, Sean Doherty, Ed Shaw.”² I only found three articles by Sam Allberry that were written and posted on the Living Out website. None of those raised any major concern. There were six original articles by Sean Doherty and five by Ed Shaw.

In one article written by Doherty³, he sought to answer the question of whether a same sex couple should stop living together if they become Christians. While acknowledging that the couple should “cease the sexual aspect of their relationship,” he argues that it may be good and right for them to continue living together, “especially if they have children.” Here is his counsel:

“holding back from sexual intimacy doesn’t spell an end to physical intimacy, not for a moment. . . .  there are wonderful ways to be physically close to other people without being sexually close to them. We hug and kiss our friends and relatives in non-sexual ways. We hold hands with children. Some people (especially guys?) love to play fight (my sons love to do this with me – personally, I would prefer to cuddle them, but I have to play fight with them, because it is a way they give and receive physical affection!). None of these things necessarily have anything to do with sex, but they have much to do with physical affection and intimacy – as St Paul puts it, greet one another with a holy kiss (2 Corinthians 13:12). . . .  Of course, it may take time and a bit of trial and error for a couple to redefine the boundaries and work out how they can best remain physically close to one another, without crossing the line again into sexual intimacy. But I believe this is worth working at, in order both to honour God by not crossing that line, and to honour him by sharing healthy physical affection with the people he has given you to and to you (wording of the original).”

It would take a great amount of time to parse out all the problems with Doherty’s counsel. However, I fail to see any practical wisdom in this. I cannot imagine a pastor giving this advice to a heterosexual couple that is living together and then both become Christians. Who would tell them to continue to live together, experience other physical intimacy, but just do not have physical sex? This is only inviting temptation for the flesh that will most definitely lead to further sexual immorality-especially during the period of “trial and error.” This is not “practical wisdom.” It is foolish advice at best and unbiblical at worst.

Last Friday, I had an interaction with Sam Allberry on Twitter concerning Doherty’s article. Allberry’s response was that it was being “misunderstood” and needed to be “reworded more carefully.”⁴ The exchange was gracious on his part and many of the things he said during our interaction was consistent with other public things he has said that I appreciate. Yet he continued to assess my concerns with Doherty’s article to be nothing more than “transatlantic differences.” ⁵ In other words, what was written was simply being lost in translation.⁶ Allberry promised to release a piece the next day through TGC to make his stance clearer. In that post he stated his position against same-sex Christians having “non-sexual romantic relationships.”⁷ Although the post was excellent, it did not at all address the problems of the Living Out article that we discussed the prior day.

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