This elder had been a friend of mine for forty years. We started the church together. We ministered alongside each other for decades. We teamed up to lead the church and staff together. ​But one evening, I had to tell him it was over. He was out. After thirty years, he was no longer a pastor here. We were done.​

I’ve been a local church pastor for more than thirty years, but I’ve never had a year like 2018. Honestly, it was brutal, far and away the most difficult season I’ve ever had in ministry. I experienced a church leader’s nightmare.​ Through a grueling five-month process, we ended up removing a vocational elder from our team due to repeated instances of inappropriate conduct. He ended up losing his job, his ministry, and his church. It was extremely difficult for everyone involved.​

This elder had been a friend of mine for forty years. We started the church together. We ministered alongside each other for decades. We teamed up to lead the church and staff together. ​But one evening, I had to tell him it was over. He was out. After thirty years, he was no longer a pastor here. We were done.​

The whole process was excruciating, and that final conversation with my unrepentant friend was weird, awkward, and painful. Many nights I just sat in my study and stared at the ceiling for hours, trying to pray and wondering how in the world our church was going to survive this. ​But, by God’s grace, we did survive. I survived too, somehow. God was good to us and we’re still here. But it was rough.​

As I’ve reflected on this experience several truths have emerged that help me to process the whole ordeal:

1.) God’s Church is beautiful when it is working right. But as long as humans are leading it and participating in it, it will be imperfect at best and will have the potential to cause much heartache and pain.​

I love the church. You probably do, too. But let’s just be honest, this thing we love so much has the capacity to bring us moments of great exhilaration and also moments of deep heartache. Sometimes we experience both in the same day. That’s just the nature of a church led by flawed leaders and made up of flawed people.​

In my experience, church work is a mixed bag. One day, I rejoice to see a young Muslim man trust Christ for salvation; the next day, I’m mourning as I visit one of our dear members in the hospital who is dying of cancer. One moment, I’m sharing in the heartache of a brother whose marriage is disintegrating; a few days later, I officiate at the wedding of an excited young couple just starting out. In the morning, I receive an email from a member who greatly appreciated Sunday’s sermon. In the afternoon, well, you get the picture.​

That’s just the way it is with church work. And it’s important for us to set realistic expectations if we’re going to endure for the long haul. The ideal church isn’t to be found here. The only perfect church family is the one that we’ll be with in heaven. ​

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