What role should a pastor’s wife or elder’s wife play in the church? What are her responsibilities? How can she serve as a helpmate to her husband in the ministry?

THERE IS NO “PASTOR’S WIFE” OFFICE

The first thing to say on this topic is that the Bible does not establish an office for “elder/pastor wife.” It doesn’t offer her a job description. This in turn means an elder’s wife should not feel forced into some mold or set of expectations. Rather, an elder’s wife should feel free to simply be a happy, healthy, growing Christian who seeks to fulfill the “one another” commands in the context of her church just like every other member should.

Shouldn’t the pastor/elder’s wife seek to love and serve the church as occasion permits and as gifts allow? Yes, but only because she is a Christian, not because she is an elder’s wife.

Some pastors’ wives will want to play the piano, run VBS, and lead the women’s retreat. Great! Others will find themselves more fully occupied in the home as well as in the work of private hospitality or neighborhood evangelism. Great!

An elder or pastor’s wife, like every Christian, should engage in private ministry. But there is nothing in the Bible which says that she must engage in public ministry.

UNHELPFUL EXPECTATIONS FROM THE CHURCH

Now, churches will often place expectations on pastor/elder wives. They expect them to have a public ministry. But here is where elders/pastors should be willing to show courage and seek to protect their wives from unhelpful expectations.

When Mark Dever was asked by the pastoral search committee of CHBC what his wife would do if he came as pastor, he replied that she would be a member who sought to grow in grace and love for the church, but that they should not place any other expectations on her. They would be hiring him, not her.

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