At first, Luther laughed at the prospects of getting married, but his friends convinced him to do it. After all, he had been teaching for some time about the benefits of marriage. It was time to put his own words into practice. Besides, he would have finally pleased his father, something he had unsuccessfully aspired to do in the past.

The Protestant Reformation created some new questions in love relationships. For example, what’s an appropriate way for a Protestant preacher to propose to a lady or, even worse, for a former monk to propose to a former nun, without aggravating the accusations of Roman Catholics who accused Protestants of lewdness and incontinence?

Martin Luther and Katharina Van Bora

The story of Martin Luther (1483-1546) and Katharina Van Bora (1499-1552) is well known. Whether he had ever entertained thoughts of marriage for himself, she resolved the issue by proposing to him.

She had arrived in Wittenberg with eight other ex nuns, looking to serve God outside the convent. As it had become customary in these cases, the leaders at Luther’s church worked hard to find these women good homes and, whenever possible, good husbands. Katherine was hard to please. In the end, she said that she would only marry Martin Luther or his friend, Nicholas von Amsdorf.

At first, Luther laughed at the prospects of getting married, but his friends convinced him to do it. After all, he had been teaching for some time about the benefits of marriage. It was time to put his own words into practice. Besides, he would have finally pleased his father, something he had unsuccessfully aspired to do in the past.

Luther and Katharina married in 1525.  He was 41 years old and she was 25. The marriage was long and happy.

John Calvin and Idelette de Bure

John Calvin (1509-1564) would have gladly remained single if his friends had not convinced him to marry. While he opposed mandatory celibacy, he found marriage unnecessary. The only way he could make sense of marriage for himself was to reduce it to a practical matter. “If I do it,” he wrote, “then it is to devote more time to the Lord and less to daily duties.”[1]

If his friends were serious about finding him a wife, he handed them a job description: she had to be hard-working, obedient, thrifty, and willing to take care of him through his frequent physical ailments. She also had to speak French. This last item was non-negotiable. He turned down a woman when she asked for some time to consider it.

After he refused a second proposal, most of his friends gave up the quest, except for Martin Bucer, a renowned match-maker. He suggested Idelette de Bure (c. 1500-1549), the widow of an Anabaptist, who had hosted Calvin on several occasions. Calvin recognized she was one of a kind (singularis exempli femina). They married in 1540. He was 31, Idelette a few years older.

They stayed happily married in spite of health challenges and sorrows (including the infant death of their only son) until she died of an illness in 1549. Calvin, who had started the marriage as little more than a business transaction, was crushed by Ideletts’s death. “I am no more than half a man,” he said.[2]

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