Everybody’s been writing me, asking for blueprints. Honestly, I didn’t have any. If you’ve read the story, you know everything about building an ark that I do. I will say this: don’t skimp on the pitch. Seriously.

Noah’s blog

Day 1
Rain.

Day 2
Rain.

Day 3
Rain.

Day 4
Rain.

Day 5
Rain.

Day 6
So I was loading up the last of the animals last week when I walk past my neighbor Roger, the Molech-worshipper. He looks up and says “Hey, looks like rain.”
True story.

Day 7
Now wondering if it was wrong to have borrowed Roger’s hedge clippers.

Day 15
It’s been the same every day for the last two weeks, but then last night, our mama elephant gave birth. I’ll put up some pics soon.

Day 16
(Picture of baby elephant)
Just look at this little guy. We need to name him something. Anybody have an idea?

Day 18
Note to self: next time I’m on a long cruise and I want to play badminton and I only have one birdie, play below deck. I’m so stupid.

Day 20
I hesitate to write this down, but here goes. . . .
I was working late last night when I felt something bite the back of my neck. Without thinking, I slapped it. Long story short, the new world might have to do without the zhingi-zhingi fly.

Day 25
New Year’s Day. A few resolutions for this year:
– Lose weight (let’s face it, I’m not 300 years old anymore)
– Work out more
– Read the entire Bible (there’s only four chapters in the whole thing, you think I would have done this one already)
-After we land, once a week: date night with the missus.

Day 27
Not to diss my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather, but I’ve been hanging out with animals a lot, too, and I think I would have named some of them differently…
ADAM’S NAME MY VERSION
Rabbit Hoppity-hoppity
Dog Rowrf
Bat EEEEEEEEEE!!!
Duck Waddle-waddle-flap-flap

Day 31
You guys read this blog. You know I love my wife, right? But I swear, sometimes she just gets on my nerves.
“The roof is leaking, Noah.”
“Noah, the sheep are soaking wet because the roof is leaking.”
You know what? Sometimes Noah just needs a little Noah Time, okay?

Day 35
Here’s an item from the “you-learn-something-every-day” category: Hippo lovemaking is very, very noisy. Haven’t slept in five days.
P.S. I counted every knot in the cypress wood of the ship: 12,946.

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