When we lost Elizabeth, God comforted me and Joe with the same comfort he gave to King David when his son died: “But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Our first baby was full term but there was a complication while I was in labor. An emergency c-section needed to be done to save our baby’s life….but not soon enough; Elizabeth was still-born. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her leg and ankle. Her much needed oxygen was cut off causing her death. It was not easy to lose our Elizabeth. When you carry a baby for nine months and talk to it and laugh when it moves or kicks you, it’s real and it’s yours.

When we lost Elizabeth, God comforted me and Joe with the same comfort he gave to King David when his son died: “But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23).To my sorrow I never held Elizabeth or saw her. In 1957 it was thought best that a mother not see her baby that had died. But I thank God that Joe’s mother wrote his sister, Mae, a letter about her.
She wrote:

Thursday, November 14, 1957

My Precious Mae,

I have hardly been able to bring myself to write, but know you want to hear about our baby girl. First, Miriam is doing just fine, and that has been such a lift for Joe. She has accepted things in a wonderful way. We put the little rosebud away yesterday morning at 11 o’clock. Truly she was a beautiful baby, not many new born ones are, but she weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces and her little baby face was round and chubby. I bought her a little blue dress, slip, socks and bonnet. I just like blue on babies. She looked just like she was sleeping. Daddy said he felt like picking her up. We also had a lovely spray of red roses with white on green leaves as back ground for the little white casket. Dr. Tolle conducted a committal service at the gravesite. It was a beautiful service. Our faith is strong, though are hearts are heavy.

your loving Mama.

Three years later I was again pregnant. At first I was anxious for the baby until my new obstetrician said, after looking over my medical history, “There is no reason that what happen to your first baby will happen to this one.” I believed him.

Having no problems through the eight and a half months of carrying our baby, the doctor scheduled my C-section on January 14, 1960. The surgery and delivery were successful and our little baby girl, Jody, was born healthy and beautiful. We were smiling through our tears of joy.

Our third daughter, Catherine, was born on March 15, 1962. I was out of the recovery room and in a regular room when the doctor stepped into the doorway and said, “Your baby is in trouble.” He left in a hurry to help her. A few minutes later Joe walked in. He looked at me and said, “What’s wrong?” I answered with tears rolling down my cheeks, “the doctor said our baby is in trouble.” Joe said, “I’ll find out what’s happening.” When he came back he told me that Catherine is having trouble breathing and that she has hyaline membrane disease which means her lungs aren’t fully developed. Catherine made it through that day and night only to die the next morning. The news was expected but still devastating. We lost another baby girl. Our broken hearts ached.

On January 17, 1963 our son, Joe Jr. (Bubba), was born. God gave us peace through the whole pregnancy. Bubba entered the world weighing 9 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was a big boy with strong healthy lungs. His crying could be heard up and down the nursery hallway. It was music to our ears.

For years I kept Elizabeth and Catherine buried in the back of my mind. It was too painful to talk about them to anyone but Joe. Recently, and in God’s timing, He took away that pain. He opened my heart to a gracious truth about our two girls; they have never known anything but God’s glory! Wow! What a soothing balm.

A few months after God gave me this new awareness I was on my morning run and praying for our two granddaughters, Emily and Malley. God brought to mind another exciting truth. He took our two girls to heaven to enjoy him forever and he gave us two girls to love and enjoy on this earth.

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” Job 1:21b (KJV).

Miriam Gautier is a member of Springs, Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Dunnellon, Fla.

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