There are those wives who marry men who never set out for the pastorate, but sometime early (or later) into their marriage, their husbands sense the call of God, enroll in seminary, and enter full-time ministry. Then there are the wives who marry men studying for the pastorate, knowing at the onset they will be the wife of a pastor.

I’ll never forget the moment when I reached out to a seasoned minister’s wife — and she pushed me away.

It was several summers ago at a convention event when I, a young newlywed, approached this seemingly wise and invested woman for a chance opportunity to meet for coffee and glean from her years of experience. Her response to me was, “I never signed up for this.”

Her words hung in the air like a tightrope that I dared not cross. My first inclination was to judge her, and to be honest I did judge her initially. But after I walked away from this encounter, I considered her words and the heavy heart from which she spoke. She had a backstory, while I was just developing my own.

Come to find out, her story included a wayward child, a busy ministry, and a public life. She never signed up for this.

Two Kinds of Pastors’ Wives

Generally speaking, there are two kinds of pastors’ wives: those who know they are marrying into the ministry, and those who get adopted into the ministry. There are those wives who marry men who never set out for the pastorate, but sometime early (or later) into their marriage, their husbands sense the call of God, enroll in seminary, and enter full-time ministry. Then there are the wives who marry men studying for the pastorate, knowing at the onset they will be the wife of a pastor.

Then there is me.

My Story into Ministry

I had a personal call from God to enter full-time ministry that became clear to me in college. I did not know what I would specifically do in the ministry, but I did know that my love for the local church and all that swells out of local church ministry (i.e. discipleship, evangelism, social justice, etc.) was not impressed upon my heart by accident.

While in my 20s, I served in local church ministry and was graciously mentored by pastors, a pastor’s wife, and committed lay leaders throughout that season. Professors, seminary wives, and my church invested in me as well. The Lord placed the right people in my life to pour their wisdom, experience, and love into me. I am forever indebted to them.

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