The other day I got a phone call from one such pastor who said: “Help! Talk me off my metaphorical ledge!” That morning he’d gotten an angry text message from someone who blamed him for wrecking an upcoming family vacation because he didn’t approve of a Sunday school topic, he had an email faulting him that a woman was losing her faith because he wasn’t happy enough in his preaching, a family was threatening to withdraw their children from the church because youth group wasn’t what they wanted it to be, and he was on his way to visit a person who had been spreading gossip about him. It wasn’t even noon yet!

The final “Amen” was given and my friend descended the pulpit and took his usual place at the back door. As people filed by shaking his hand one particular member of the congregation approached him. Foregoing any and all pleasantries he immediately began to humiliatingly pick apart the message that had only ended minutes before. Overwhelmed by the onslaught my friend had no idea what to say or do. Thankfully, an older gentleman who was visiting–actually a retired pastor–overheard the harangue and interrupted: “What do you think you’re doing?” The man replied with all seriousness: “I have the spiritual gift of nitpicking and it’s my job to humble the preacher.” Defensively, the retired pastor fired back: “That’s nothing but spiritual bullying and it’s absolutely unacceptable!”

The relationship between a pastor and the people is one that should be grounded in every Christian grace but also crowned, in a special way, with joy and love. The Apostle Paul shows his pastoral heart to the church in Corinth when he said: “And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:3-4).

Tragically, that relationship can easily be shattered. We’ve heard and read of the abuse–physical, spiritual, emotional, and sexual–that some have suffered at the hands of a wily pastor. The very man entrusted with knowing, feeding, leading, and protecting the sheep of Jesus’ flock has the potential to do untold damage. If Robert Murray M’Cheyne was right when he said: “A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God,” then equally true is that a manipulative, deceitful, or prideful minister is an awful weapon in the hand of Satan. And there are lives that bear the marks and pain of hurtful pastors. Personally, I have never known which is greater–the fear I sense for those pastors who must stand to give an account before the Chief Shepherd, or the absolute heartbreak of watching tender sheep being deeply wounded.

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