Many of you have sent me emails sharing similar experiences and asking for advice about how to talk about racism with friends—especially black friends—who embrace an unbiblical understanding of racism and social justice. I can’t help you maintain all your friends—I can’t even maintain all of mine. But I can attempt to help you maintain some of your friends even as you maintain all biblical theology over racism and social justice. 

One of the surest ways to turn some friends into enemies is to tell them the truth about racism and social justice.

When I created this blog five years ago to help many of my friends think more biblically about racism and social justice, I didn’t think it would cost me their friendship. I never imagined many of the people I love would hate me over racial issues.

But today, people I once considered friends agree with strangers who say I am a coon, an uncle Tom, or a sellout.

And many of you have sent me emails sharing similar experiences and asking for advice about how to talk about racism with friends—especially black friends—who embrace an unbiblical understanding of racism and social justice.

I can’t help you maintain all your friends—I can’t even maintain all of mine. But I can attempt to help you maintain some of your friends even as you maintain all biblical theology over racism and social justice.

My experience as a pro-life advocate at the Canadian Centre For Bio-Ethical Reform and my many conversations about racism and justice has helped me develop an effective apologetical approach that might help you maintain strong friendships and a strong commitment to biblical truth.

If we begin conversations with our friends by asking questions, we’ll inevitably end the conversations by answering their questions. Wise people are quick to listen and slow to speak. They are quick to ask questions and slow to give answers.

That doesn’t mean we should hesitate to give answers or hesitate to speak the truth. We shouldn’t be afraid of the truth. We shouldn’t be ashamed of the gospel. But there’s a time to listen and a time to speak. That patience is good for us. If we listen well, we’ll speak well. Wise guys speak last.

The Bible says, “the one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” (Proverbs 18:17).

If we ask questions first and give answers second, we gain an opportunity to develop a better understanding of our friends’ reasoning and we therefore become more able to examine their words and address their inconsistencies.

We’re our own worst enemies. Our own words are usually the most powerful arguments against our worldview. People who disagree with us are naturally more willing to agree with their own words—even if the words contradict their worldview—than they are to agree with our words. And since social justice ideology is inherently inconsistent, starting conversations about racism with our friends by asking questions and allowing them to speak for themselves is the most effective way to make their contradictions problematic for them.

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