A few pancakes prepared with a servant’s heart can do more to ease family tension than a short stack of defensive arguments doled out by a selfish heart. Jesus starts addressing Peter’s betrayal of him by choosing to condescend. He finds a way to serve. In this case, he makes breakfast for a man who has worked all night.

Christ’s Cooking and Cleaning

God’s gentleness is often displayed through condescension. To condescend is to lower yourself in a humble manner in order to be considerate and accommodating. It’s humble. In contrast, for a human to be condescending is to make others feel low by arrogantly patronizing them. It’s prideful.

There is a condescending tone I use with my kids sometimes, in my worst moments, that if I used it with anyone else on planet Earth would be appalling. It’s a rude “That was dumb, and I know better” tone that is all too common for me. If I saw a stranger spill his coffee and I blurted out, “What were you thinking? Put a lid on it!” it would startle onlookers. Or if I saw someone not finish her meal at a restaurant and I shared a quick “What a waste! Look how I clean my plate,” I wouldn’t win any friends.

Our culture accepts such levels of patronizing from moms and dads, but Christian parents are called to a higher standard. If we speak to our children in condescending ways, it reveals that we have a worldly idea of leadership: “I’m in charge. I’m up here. You’re down there.”

There is a better way than following the world’s standard—the way we see in Jesus. Humble gentleness is something that we take for granted in Jesus. Though Jesus is perfect and all authority on heaven and earth has been given to him, during his earthly ministry he never acted condescendingly, and he was more than willing to demonstrate how kingdom leaders should be quick to condescend. He is never sinfully prideful, and he is always lowly and meek.

Of all the words that Jesus could use to describe himself, he chose “gentle and lowly” (Matt. 11:29). This means that he uses his strength carefully and that he is willing to make himself low for the sake of others. The ultimate leader, who has all authority, demonstrated gentleness and humility.

From Jesus’s example we see clearly that leadership in the kingdom of God is different from leadership in the world. In Luke 22:25, Jesus says that worldly leaders will use their positions of authority to “exercise lordship over” their inferiors. Worldly leaders use a position of authority to get what they want or make others feel low. Parents are some of the worst offenders in this. But Jesus says, “It shall not be so among you” (Matt. 20:26)! If you want to be great in the kingdom of God, if you want to be a great leader, if you want to use your position of authority (such as mom or dad) in a kingdom manner, you must use your position to serve others.

Consider how this principle was displayed at the Last Supper, where a conflict was brewing between Jesus and Peter.

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