Lots of ground is given an inch at a time leading up to the fall. So if you’re like me, you’re weary of seeing man after man fall, seemingly week by week, and you’re wondering: Is there anything we can do? The answer is yes, I think. Again, we can’t keep a sinner from sinning, really, but there are practical things we can do that help facilitate the kinds of relationships and ministerial health that are positive investments in our pastors.

First, let me get the obvious out of the way. Apologies for the “clickbait” title, but there’s no real sure-fire way to affair-proof your pastor. A man set on sin will have his way no matter how watchful and loving his support system. To put it another way, and to be even clearer, when a pastor commits adultery, he is at fault. It’s not his wife’s fault, not his congregation’s fault, not “the culture”‘s fault. It’s not even the devil’s fault. Our sin is ours.

And yet, it’s very rare for pastors to jump straight into physical adultery from an otherwise healthy place. Lots of ground is given an inch at a time leading up to the fall. So if you’re like me, you’re weary of seeing man after man fall, seemingly week by week, and you’re wondering: Is there anything we can do?

The answer is yes, I think. Again, we can’t keep a sinner from sinning, really, but there are practical things we can do that help facilitate the kinds of relationships and ministerial health that are positive investments in our pastors.

1. Invest in his marriage.

At the risk of redundancy, nobody is at fault for a pastor’s adultery but the man himself. But we can invest in the marriages and families of our pastors by giving him plenty of time off, respecting his days off and vacation, honoring his wife (and children), including his family in as many invites as we can, etc. We can also pay for the pastor and his wife to go on marriage enrichment retreats, give them gift cards for restaurants, and otherwise encourage date nights. We can refuse to put pressure on his wife to be things she may not be called to be — children’s ministry leader, women’s ministry director, etc. Many pastors’ wives love these roles; many do not, however, and often feel the pressure to perform for the church in other ways, as well. This can often put a strange stress on the pastor’s marriage, and weak men often choose not to upset the church rather than not to alienate his wife. Again, this is his fault for not protecting her and supporting her unique calling. But we can help by not putting them in this position, not leading him/them into temptation, as it were. A stressed marriage is ripe for sinful violations of it.

2. Don’t expect him to be Jesus.

Moral failures proliferate among over-busy, over-stressed, over-burdened men. No pastor can be his church’s functional messiah. We’d never put it that way, of course, but by not allowing him margin and rest, we can be pushing him toward burnout. Sin thrives among the tired.

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