Excess work and excess rest are both forms of laziness, and each is rooted in a failure to believe that God’s way is best. Unbelieving laziness will always bear bad fruit, so it is no surprise that the end of the road for many young men is pornography.

The most typical issue I deal with in counseling men is pornography.1

As I’ve opened the Scriptures with men to eradicate this sinful, serpentine habit from their lives, I’ve come to see that the problem at the root of pornography use is not lust—though of course that is a big part of the problem—but rather unbelief expressed in a rejection of the fourth commandment.

Let me explain.

God’s Order: Work, Rest, & Worship

God created mankind to work (Genesis 1:28, 2:15). He gave us six days for labor, and one for rest and worship (Deuteronomy 5:12-15).

Of course, work, rest, and worship are not mutually exclusive. For each day of labor, we worship through prayer, thanksgiving, and Scripture,2 and end each day with restful sleep. For our day of rest we labor by “fill[ing] the whole time with public and private acts of worship and the duties of necessity and mercy.”3

But the biblical categories exist to help us order our lives rightly. When we align our days with what God says, we will have a purpose for every moment, and that God-given purpose leads us away from temptation and towards blessing, contentment, and joy.

God calls such rightly ordered living good (Genesis 1:31; Deuteronomy 6:18, 24).

My (Dis)Order: Work, Rest, & Worship

Our lives become disordered when we don’t believe God’s word in such a way that we actually live as if it’s true.

God says to work for six days and worship for one. But we are content to work for five half-days and worship for one half-day. Can you see the problem? We don’t work and worship as God says, so we fill up the rest of the time “working” on hobbies and “resting”—daily—for hours at a time with passive entertainment. Disordered work and rest leads to a disordered worship—of self.

God gave us our purpose when he said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion… over every living thing that moves on the earth” (Genesis 1:28). That purpose means hearty, healthy, fruit-producing effort. Things go awry when we neglect God’s purpose to pursue our own agenda. We lean on our own understanding and take the route that seems to promise the best and easiest rewards. We aim for as little work and as much play as possible.4

Instead of being producers we become consumers; instead of having dominion we are dominated; instead of actively creating we are passively entertained.

Too Busy—or Not Busy Enough?

I see this in the counseling room all the time.

A young, single man reaches out to me for help with porn. We meet, talk about his life history and current struggles, then I assign him homework tailored to help him deepen his faith, walk with the Lord, and resist temptation. Among other assignments, I always insist on the importance of regular, structured time in the word—”daily devotions.” He affirms his desire to be in the word and agrees to be held accountable to having personal devotions every day.

We meet again the next week and I follow up on how he did the homework assignments. Almost without fail, no matter how well or poorly he has done the other assignments, he will confess to only having personal devotions once or twice.

The reason is always the same: I was busy.

At this point, all I have to do is ask him to open his phone and see how much time he spent on it. Yeah, you got me is his reaction, even before he opens the Digital Wellbeing (Android) or Screen Time (iPhone) app.5 His phone confirms what his gut instinctively knew: he wasn’t too busy.

Sure, he would put effort into work or school, and would regularly attend church. But much of each day was lost to whatever drew his attention in the digital world.

What’s going on here? What is the connection between mindless scrolling, neglect of daily devotions, and porn?

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1. I took the photo above on a trip to Madagascar in 2024, where I was helping conduct a train for Biblical Counseling Ministries Worldwide. I chose it for this post because the animals and cart are clearly designed for work, yet they are standing idle in the middle of the day, doing nothing. Proverbs 7:22 uses related imagery for the young man who is passing by the forbidden woman’s house at a time when he should be home resting, and “all at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter.” That verse has been very helpful to me in refusing temptation.
2. “The elements of religious worship of God include reading the Scriptures, preaching and hearing the Word of God, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with grace in our hearts to the Lord… God is to be worshipped everywhere in spirit and in truth—daily in each family and privately by each individual.” LBC 22.5-6.
3. LBC 22.8.
4. Overwork is also a possibility, but legitimate overwork is much rarer and has the same root problem of failing to trust and obey God’s command to work six days and rest one. The workaholic and sluggard are more alike than you would expect; the workaholic delights in his work or achievements while the sluggard delights in the pleasures of fun or hobbies, and both neglect the spiritual disciplines. Regardless, I have found that both spend too much time on their phones.
5. Sure, it’s a bit of a parlor trick, but I’ve found it helpful for data gathering and to help the counselee view themselves realistically as their own phone testifies against them.