Every believer in Jesus has by definition dedicated themselves to the Lord, to be His and for Him from now for ever. Sometimes it can be helpful for believers to explicitly reflect on this and articulate it in their own words. In Covenanting times it was not unusual for individual believers to formulate such “personal covenants” and sometimes to write them down. One godly woman who did this was Janet Hamilton, Lady Earlston (who died in 1696). Janet married Sir Alexander Gordon of Earlston (1650–1726), a Covenanter who fought at Bothwell Bridge. He was arrested some time after the battle, and ended up imprisoned in Blackness Castle. Janet voluntarily joined him in prison (and some of their children were born there).

At various stages in her life, Janet wrote down her reflections on the Lord’s dealings with her in the form of “soliloquies.” The earliest available of these follows in updated form. In her thoughts she moves seamlessly from addressing own soul by way of reminiscences and self-exhortations, to addressing the Lord in praise and prayer. Her recollections culminate in a renewal of her personal covenant with the Lord. Janet’s writings were discovered after her death and published at the request of her friends, with the hope that it would encourage others to write their own accounts and personal covenants.

Recollections of the Lord’s grace

Lord, I desire to bless Thy name for Thy former loving-kindnesses to me in the day of my trouble, in helping and standing by me when overcharged with affliction, and deserted by friends. What was I, and my father’s house? A poor insufficient creature, taken up with nothing but vanities of all sorts. Oh, what moved so holy a God ever to condescend to look upon me, and pass by so many much more worthy than poor undeserving me! Oh, praises be unto thee, O Most High! Oh that my tongue were employed through time in magnifying the holy name of so merciful a God!

Placing me among the godly

May not I say, His mercies are over all His other works to me? May not I sit down and admire free love? First, in inclining my heart to love Him and His people, and in casting my lot amongst the godly, and in bestowing a godly and kind husband on me (when I was left destitute without father or mother), and that He did so care for me as not to allow me to enjoy the desires of my heart, but was at pains to hedge in my ways with thorns. His infinite love did not allow me to sit at my ease, enjoying my pleasures in the day of Zion’s calamity, but prepared the way by smaller trials for greater.

Preparing me gently

Thou didst in Thy infinite wisdom, not at first cast me into the hottest flames of the furnace, lest I should not have been able to stand, but would in fright have fainted and turned back. But, oh, praise! praise be to Him who inhabits eternity, that condescended so far to me, a worm, as sweetly to train me up, in alluring me, and speaking comfortably to me, when I first entered into the wilderness!

Thou causedst Thy word to be to my soul as the honey and the honeycomb. Thou madest me sit under Thy shadow with great delight, and Thy fruits were sweet unto my taste; so that many a time which to onlookers was sad, was sweet to me. The Lord did so support and feast me in His banqueting house that I was made to rejoice in the midst of my tribulations.

Equipping me to stand strong

Likewise, Thou didst not allow me to go on with those who were indifferent in Christ’s matters, but with Thy rods Thou didst raise such a zeal and love on my spirit, and so filledst my mouth with arguments, that I could not see any thing like defection from, or wrong done, to any of Thy truth, without resenting, testifying, and contending against it. Thou madest at least this change in my heart, which was proud and haughty, much disdaining the converse of the poor, but Thou helpedst me to be denied to great folk, and to the reproach I suffered on that front, making the company of the poor that were godly in the land, dear unto me.

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