So don’t be bitter. Especially since what you think about your parents reveals what you think about God. If you’re bitter about your parents, then you’re not being grateful to God. Still, forgiving your dishonourable father isn’t the only way to honour him. The Bible says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.” (Proverbs 23:24). Meaning, we should honour our dishonourable fathers by honouring the only perfectly honourable father: God. 

You should honour your dishonourable father—God commands that of you.

The fifth commandment says: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

On Father’s Day this Sunday, many of you will probably honour your honourable fathers. But what about those of us with dishonourable fathers? What about those of us with bad fathers?

Or in my case, what about those of us with absentee fathers?

The fifth commandment doesn’t say, “honour your good father and good mother.” No, it says: “honour your father and your mother.” No matter who your parents are—no matter what they’ve done or haven’t done, God commands you to honour them.

God doesn’t say we should honour our parents because of their good character. He suggests we should honour them because of their position. In other words, we should honour our fathers not because they are good parents—but because they are our parents. Meaning, we shouldn’t honour our parents primarily because of what they’ve done for us; we should honour our parents because of what God has done for us through them.

This, of course, doesn’t mean adults need to obey their parents. Adults are no longer under their parent’s authority. This also doesn’t mean people who have abusive parents should place themselves in harmful positions. Suspending relationships with abusive, unrepentant parents is necessary. However, just as God commands us to honour bad emperors, he also commands us to honour bad parents. (1 Peter 2:17-18)

But what does that mean? What does it look like to honour a dishonourable father?

I think it’s simply to seek to do good to a bad father. I think it’s to do for your bad father what God does for his bad children.

If you have a dishonourable father, honour him by being willing to forgive him.

If you’re a Christian, though you’re a sinner—though you’re a bad child—doesn’t God forgive you? If your good father honours you with forgiveness, then return that honour to your bad father. Be willing to forgive them. Even if your father curses you, bless them. The Bible says, “bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (Luke 6:28)

After all, whatever your parents have done or haven’t done to you—you’ve done much worse to God.

So don’t be bitter. Especially since what you think about your parents reveals what you think about God. If you’re bitter about your parents, then you’re not being grateful to God.

Still, forgiving your dishonourable father isn’t the only way to honour him. The Bible says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.” (Proverbs 23:24).

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