Paul taught that everyone who desires to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted (2 Timothy 3:12). He did not say, “Just the awkward, hyper-spiritual, loud-mouthed-and-lacking-love believer.” He said all. And to help us, God gave us a book full of godly, yet hated men and women pursuing righteousness.

A liberating truth for people pleasers

Content strategist, desiringGod.org

Word on the street was that Greg started a cult.

The rumor began with someone I thought was a friend. A big name on the university football team, a go-to on the field — a hater behind my back.

When I heard what he was saying, my first response was frustration. If the natural response is fight or flight, I found myself gravitating toward the former. But God was gracious, and soon I calmed down.

The emotion that took its place next, however, caught me off guard: regret. Had I said something too extreme? Had I been a little too vocal? Should I have lingered a little more at their parties and laughed a little more at their jokes? I failed to win him. And now, how many others would stay away from our Bible study because of his slander?

When the World Hates You

From there, the descent was gradual. I started to be invited out less and less. I saw pictures of different parties and cabin getaways on Facebook. Lines began to be drawn, and I was on the other side. Wallowing in self-pity and shame, wishing I had been a cooler Christian, Jesus confronted me one night through his word.

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” (John 15:18–20)

Maybe I was excluded and lied about, not because I failed as an evangelist, but instead because King Jesus had chosen me. Maybe Christ was the cause. Maybe I was not of this world. If I was of this world, Jesus had said, the world would love me as its own. But if I was his own, the world would persecute me.

That night in God’s word, my weaning from people pleasing began. One of the most liberating, expectation-changing, Jesus-endorsed truths that set me free was the tried and true statement, Haters gon’ hate.

Haters Gon’ Hate

Before that night, I had sinful expectations. Secretly, I was hoping to be loved by God and the world. Secretly, I wanted God to change my life but not my reputation. I didn’t want to be a Ned Flanders. I wanted to be liked — for Christ or otherwise. I, the servant, had expected to be treated more favorably than my Master — and the world chose a murderer over him.

But I was not greater than my Master. I would not — and should not — be liked by everyone. Jesus wasn’t. I should be thought well of by outsiders (1 Timothy 3:7) — many should see a good lifestyle and approve of it — but Jesus’s word to every follower of his would come to pass: “you will be hated by all for my name’s sake” (Matthew 10:22).

Through my teammate’s slander, some at the university were defriending me. Instead of this being an embarrassment or a failure, it was the natural consequence of being Christ’s. I was a citizen of another realm, no longer who I used to be. And as E.T. illustrated way back in the 80s, people often dislike what they do not understand.

How to Be Loved by All

Do you expect to be liked by everyone?

Paul taught that everyone who desires to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted (2 Timothy 3:12). He did not say, “Just the awkward, hyper-spiritual, loud-mouthed-and-lacking-love believer.” He said all. And to help us, God gave us a book full of godly, yet hated men and women pursuing righteousness.

Are you more well-liked than your Master?

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