The family, as the smallest of the three institutions, is headed by the father, followed by the mother, who submits to her husband’s authority. Under them are the children, who submit to both parents. The family is not only the smallest unit but also the foundational one, created by God before both the church and government. These two realities have far-reaching implications for both the church and society. If families are unhealthy, the church and society will likewise be unhealthy. Conversely, healthy families will lead to healthier churches and stronger societies. 

A blueprint is a guide for constructing something — it’s a design or pattern that can be followed. Want to build the best house? Draw up a blueprint and adhere to the design carefully.

In its literal sense, a blueprint is a detailed plan printed on blue paper, traditionally used for constructing buildings. However, the concept of a blueprint extends beyond architecture to encompass strategic planning in various areas of life. For example, a business plan can be seen as a blueprint for achieving profitability. Religions or philosophies offer blueprints for guiding one’s way of living. A blueprint, thus, serves as a guide to help you know what steps to take. In the same way, God has designed a blueprint for the family, the church, and the government.

There are three key observations I would like to make about God’s blueprint for the family:

1. Authority:
One defining characteristic shared by all three institutions—the family, the church, and the government—is authority. Each has its own God-ordained structure of authority, with God being sovereign over all. For example, the king is the authority over the government, the elders hold authority within the church, and the father is the authority within the family. These structures are vital for maintaining order and fulfilling God’s purpose for each institution.

2. Love:
In both the church and the family, God has designed these institutions to function in a posture of love—towards Him and towards one another. Authority without love distorts the very purpose of these institutions. A family or a church that operates under authority but lacks love will not flourish according to God’s design. Imagine a family where children are disciplined but not loved; such children would likely grow up emotionally scarred and psychologically damaged. Love, therefore, is a critical component of God’s blueprint for families, ensuring that discipline and guidance are rooted in care and compassion.

3. Training ground:
The family, as the smallest of the three institutions, is headed by the father, followed by the mother, who submits to her husband’s authority. Under them are the children, who submit to both parents. The family is not only the smallest unit but also the foundational one, created by God before both the church and government. These two realities have far-reaching implications for both the church and society. If families are unhealthy, the church and society will likewise be unhealthy. Conversely, healthy families will lead to healthier churches and stronger societies.

Another way to say it is that families serve as the ‘nursery’ for both the church and society. Just as plants in a nursery are tended to carefully until they are ready to be transplanted into a more permanent setting, the family nurtures children in a context of loving authority. Here, children learn submission, love, and discipline before being ‘transplanted’ into church membership (if they are truly converted) and into society as law-abiding citizens. If they are not healthy within the family, they won’t thrive once they step into the church or broader society.

God’s Blueprint for the Husband-Wife Relationship

Husbands – For the Husband to love his wife like Christ loves the Church:

Eph. 5:25-33 gives God’s blueprint for husbands:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 

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