Brothers, in the matter of pursuing a wife, some of you are “always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7). You’ve heard exhortations like this before, but nothing has changed. Not anymore. Take the next step…awake to the wild glory of marriage. Awake to the glory of a wife. Stop just thinking about it, and go to it right merrily.

On March 27, 1525, Wolfgang Reissenbusch served as a preceptor in the monastery of St. Anthony. This meant Mr. Reissenbusch had vowed to live a single, celibate life—that is, until the Reformation provided him a new perspective, a different justification (to be married). What should he do? Write to the fiery bachelor Martin Luther, of course.

Luther wrote back,

It is said that it takes a bold man to venture to take a wife. What you need above all else, then, is to be encouraged, admonished, urged, incited, and made bold. Why should you delay, my dear and reverend sir, and continue to weigh the matter in your mind? It must, should, and will happen in any case. Stop thinking about it and go to it right merrily. Your body demands it. God wills it and drives you to it. (Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 274)

One month later, on April 26, Reissenbusch married Anna Herzog, daughter of a poor tailor’s widow. Less than two months after that, on June 13, Martin Luther took his own advice and married Katharina von Bora. The advice profited both Reissenbusch and Luther himself, and it might just profit indecisive bachelors today. I pray it might be the little jolt to get some of you should-be-marrieds off the fence for good.

Get Merrily to It

Single men, pews fill with godly women exiting their twenties, passing through their thirties, and entering their forties unmarried. More than a few are gems—Abigails and Ruths and Priscillas and Marys. They would love to manage a household, have as many children as the Lord allows, join a man of God on his mission, but alas, they cannot pursue themselves. Some would be married but for the immaturity, fear, or selfishness of some of the men.

Brothers, I am not interested in chopping you down. The world has taken a twisted joy in that for some time now. But let’s be honest: What are some of you doing? Stalling, delaying, trifling, prolonging, joysticking, late-nighting, fast-fooding, boying.

Perpetual groomsmen, never the groom. Ships in the dock—maybe overthinking, maybe lazy, maybe sinful. The excuses are many—only some of them valid. For some, adulthood seems like an undesirable destination. So you settle, sit yourself on the bench, keep yourself in the shallow end, bowl with the bumpers up. I want better for you.

Luther’s advice is to be bold, stop just thinking about it, know God’s will for you, and get merrily to it.

Be Bold

It is said that it takes a bold man to venture to take a wife. What you need above all else, then, is to be encouraged, admonished, urged, incited, and made bold.

I had spent mere hours in person with my (now) wife at a conference before I spent the little money I had on a ticket to a nation I couldn’t point to on a map. I sat in a tiny seat for a thirteen-hour plane ride to the Middle East to meet her on the mission field with her people.

“Bro, you’re about to fly across the world to meet a girl you just met to be interrogated by her and her whole community?” A friend was stunned by the story. This was not like me, until it was.

What gave me confidence?

She. I knew her well enough to know that if I were to marry, it would be to a woman like her. This Latina New Englander blew gospel-fire. She was on mission. I saw women she discipled glowing in her presence. Any man who dares pursue a woman like that better be about the Lord and his business. I wasn’t sure if I was that man, but I was willing to sit on a plane to find out.

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