“I gave up my religion around the time I went to college, and tried not to think too much about it.” Many of us distance ourselves from religion. ‘Religion’ is a word that has become associated with repressive dogma, guilt-ridden duty, and all too common hypocrisy. It is not unusual to hear: “I’m into relationship, not religion.”

A New Yorker, Margaret Wheeler-Johnson, wrote in the Huffington Post, “I gave up my religion around the time I went to college, and tried not to think too much about it.” Commenting on her parochial school days – a time in her life when she actually prayed – she says: “That was all magical thinking, of course. I was no less alone then than I am now.” Her December 29, 2011, article, Losing My Religion: If I’m So Done With Faith, Why Do I Still Feel Its Loss?generated 2604 comments within a few days. Remarkable.

Like Margaret, many of us distance ourselves from religion – even those who continue to believe in God. ‘Religion’ is a word that has become associated with repressive dogma, guilt-ridden duty, and all too common hypocrisy. It is not unusual to hear: “I’m into relationship, not religion.”

But, hear that cliché with my ears. Imagine you are an adoptive parent looking at a nursery of toddlers – in this case, the toddlers are words that describe how we are related to God. “Religion” is over in the corner – obscured from view. Come on in so you can take a fresh face-to-face look at “Religion.” This toddler comes to us from Latin – re– (“again”) + ligare “to bind” (the origin of our word “ligament” which binds bone to bone). Holy connection!

Some things need to be joined together. What would we do without our ligaments? Why leave an open wound when we can pull it together with sutures? What good is a nut without a bolt? What do we do with one blade of a pair of scissors? How rejuvenating – when what had been broken is restored – religamented – particularly our connection with our Maker.

Obviously, God likes diversity – he’s made a lot of unique individuals. Even as the Father, the Son and the Spirit are each valued, so individual dignity is prized. At the same time the Trinity shows us that there is more than individuality. Some fear that the only alternative to personal dignity is forced uniformity. But, in the Trinity there is true unity – true community.

Ah, but is community with God possible for people like us – people who are easily distracted, wrapped up in the complexities of our own lives – who would leave the toddler “Religion” in the corner?

Shall we continue as we are? Why not take a fresh look at Jesus?

When we understand what Jesus came to do, we realize that there is grace greater than our distraction, our alienation and even our wickedness. The good news of the gospel is that we can be re-ligamented – in our relationship with God and with each other. True religion – the gospel – does that.

So, back to the nursery. When we take a good look at this wee bairn, we find we are smitten. We adopt “Religion” – take “Religion” home – because God has adopted us.

As we find out what life with True Religion is like, we are attracted to widows, orphans, all kinds of others. We undergo another home study and head back to the adoption agency.

Two toddlers immediately charm us. We find our culture has already helped nurture a place in our hearts for “Relationship” – Latin -from re – “back, again” + latus – “carried, borne” (see oblate – “a person devoted to religious work”). In other words, building “relationships” – restoring friendships – can be a kind of “religious” work. What a concept – especially in our social networking age! And playing with “Relationship” is its twin: “Connection” – Latin – from com– “together” + nectere “to bind, tie.”

We look closely at these two. Some relationships are toxic and some connections fail – like trying to put the wrong blade on a pair of scissors. But the reality of such disconnects does not mean there are no true relationships. We know what it’s like to have our connectors broken – and we know what it is like to be changed from the inside out. So, we adopt these two too. The household of faith is growing.

As we become familiar with these little ones, our hearts enlarge. There are a couple of foster kids we know who need a home. The reality of community is so compelling – so stamped in our nature – that we are willing to curtail more of our personal freedoms. Someone greater than ourselves has shown us the extent of his love. So, we sign adoption papers again.

One of the new adoptees is “Responsibility” – Latin from re – “back” + spondere “to pledge.” When we renew our pledge to care for another, we are being responsible. We find our true voice – as a spouse, a parent a neighbor – when we speak up in behalf of each other and when we are willing to lay down our lives for one another.

The older child of these two is “Obligation” – ob “to” + ligare “bind, an engaging or pledging.” Here we are back to “ligaments” again. Our physical health depends on ligaments that are designed to bear the weight of our bones. So, Obligation helps bear the weight our interpersonal health. What a servant’s heart this one has.

But how do we sustain such a life? How do we bear the weight of religious obligations? Is it possible to connect – to have relationships – without being overwhelmed by responsibilities?

The marvel of the gospel is that God has taken on himself the weight of re-establishing his relationship with us. This Hidden Father is there and, through his Spirit, we sense the reality of his care for us – particularly in the greatest act of love – his giving his Son for us on the cross. As we live with the reality of that grace, we do not deny the duties of this life. We grow weary. But, there is a renewing power that carries us along. We trust that since God has taken the initiative to re-bind us to himself in Christ, we can pledge ourselves to ongoing relationships. God’s love has persuaded us.

What would it be like for Margaret Wheeler-Johnson to be part of such a family? She feels alone. Afterwards we ride or walk back to our respective apartments, which do not feel like home, and on the way peer into store and restaurant windows, gazing at the human forms inside, the mannequins and the animate, and resist feeling all kinds of empty that we can’t name and can’t begin to fill.

Do you think she would reconsider looking for true religion? A possible secondary origin of “religion” is the Latin re– (“again”) + legere “read” (originally “to gather, collect, pick out, choose” (see “election”). In the process of “rereading” life, what if she discovers her heavenly Father has already chosen to establish rapport with her in Christ – that he has adopted her and is taking her home to his family?

Steve Bostrom, a Teaching Elder in the Presbyterian Church in America, lives in Helena, MT, and regularly writes “Essays into the Lively Lexicon” in which he explores the meaning of words to guide us along in life. This was written on his web site and is used with permission.