“Covetousness is seen in many of the accounts of Scripture. Achan coveted the things from Jericho devoted to God. David coveted Bathsheba. Absalom coveted the throne of his father David. Although the objects these three men covet are different, there is one common thread tying these examples together: dissatisfaction. Those who covet are unhappy with that which God, in his goodness, has given to them. They are struggling with contentment.”

The 10th commandment concludes God’s instructions through the Decalogue on how we can properly express our love to God. This commandment does not deal with action so much as it does with attitude, making it stand out from the previous eight ordinances God gave Moses. You do not “do” covetousness in the same way you steal or commit adultery. It is simply present in your motivations and emotions.

Covetousness is seen in many of the accounts of Scripture. Achan coveted the things from Jericho devoted to God. David coveted Bathsheba. Absalom coveted the throne of his father David. Although the objects these three men covet are different, there is one common thread tying these examples together: dissatisfaction. Those who covet are unhappy with that which God, in his goodness, has given to them. They are struggling with contentment.

Jeremiah Burroughs defines contentment as follows: “Contentment is the inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, freely submitting to and taking pleasure in God’s disposal in every condition.”(1) According to Burroughs, contentment is not a grudging submission to God, but actually taking pleasure in our God-given circumstances. Contentment is learning to delight in all God has planned for us. If you want to pass that lesson on to your children, be assured that giving them everything they want will not help. So what are some ways we can help our children learn contentment?

1. Teach your children to love God. Many of us have an exaggerated sense of “needs” versus something we would like to have. Needs are actually a fairly small category: food and clothing (1 Tim. 6:8). For the Christian, God is the central desire. When God, through Christ, occupies such an exalted place, toys, free time, hobbies and recreations should not cause us to grumble against our creator.
2. Encourage your children to rejoice at a sibling’s success. Our children do not need to be the object of everyone’s praise and attention. Let them learn to cheer on siblings at their soccer games and take interest in their piano recital. Help them recognize when brother or sister needs a hug. Encourage them to be happy to participate in someone else’s chosen game.
3. Teach your children to serve. From a very early age, children can learn to be part of the family. This lesson can easily be learned through participation in family chores. Even little children can learn to bring their plastic plate to the counter after lunch is over. Sincere service is a good instructor toward contentment.

Each of us face difficult circumstances, from a human perspective. However, we are the people of God and are to serve him alone. Nothing else should supplant him as the object of our desires. Yet often by allowing discontentment in our families, we are teaching our children to place their own desires before things God has determined for our good. Do not covet.

Geoff Gleason is a minister in the Presbyterian Church in America and is pastor of Cliffwood PCA in Augusta, Ga. This article appeared on his blog and is used with permission.