Though rarely discussed, the division between ministers and parishioners involves professional, interpersonal, educational, and financial components, and I wonder if it’s that cultural boundary that causes misconceptions to arise between these two groups of people.

Anyone who has ever served in a staff or paid ministry position knows how hard these roles can be. That’s why frustration, hurt feelings, burnout, exhaustion, and isolation are such big problems today among pastors and other church staff.

But maybe those problems are symptoms of a larger illness — the divide between ministers and parishioners. Though rarely discussed, this division involves professional, interpersonal, educational, and financial components, and I wonder if it’s that cultural boundary that causes misconceptions to arise between these two groups of people. After all, put ten pastors and ten churchgoers in a room together, and both groups will tell each other “we’re just like you” while thinking, privately, “you’re not like me at all.”

The perception exists that we’re not alike, and that perception results in posts like this. Right or wrong, intentional or not, there are things we just don’t understand about each other.

1. Who you are reflects upon your membership. Churches reflect the character of its most visible pastors and ministers. “It’s not always fair,” one church member told me, “but people associate churches with the pastor.

2. Churchgoers have lives (and ministries) outside of church. “I don’t eat and breathe this church,” a parishioner said.

3. They value excellence but not showiness. Everyone makes mistakes. Every speaker, worship leader, or musician can have a bad day on-stage. Church members realize this, but at the same time appreciate good preparation.

4. They want to be led…with honesty. Stories abound of churches that embarked on an exciting new vision only to backtrack a few weeks into it for a variety of reasons — too few volunteers, lack of funds, complaints from prominent church members, or some other kink.

5. Sometimes, it looks like you have it easy. Anne Jackson, the author of Mad Church Disease and a former church staffer, once blogged about the perception — which she felt was well earned — that church staffers can be lazy. The post’s comment section should be required reading for pastors and ministers across the board.

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